“But you must know that you have to expect emotion from me,” she replied, feeling as though she was on the verge of tears. “I am a lady, and it is well within my rights to have emotions or react in a manner that you deem emotional.”
“That is precisely what you must learn not to do anymore,” he shrugged his shoulders. “I understand that ladies can be a tad more… well, emotional, but ultimately, they do not serve anyone, and you will find that they might even be to your disadvantage.”
She could only stare at him for a few moments. It was as though the Stephen she had only briefly known had been replaced by someone who was calculating of his every move, and cold as ice.
“Am I wrong?” he asked when he noticed that she had been perhaps stunned into silence.
“I am just trying to wrap my head around here,” she said. “To me, it seems that you are acting as if I dragged you here against your will.Youproposed, and you told my brother. I merely stood where you placed me and said yes because the alternative was to set fire to my life in front of everyone I love. I did not subject this on you, rather you subjected yourself to it.”
He flinched so slightly she would have missed it if she hadn’t been waiting for proof he could feel anything at all.
“I am not accusing you,” he said. “Nor am I trying to argue with you here.”
“No,” she said, quieter. “You are punishing yourself and calling it courtesy. And then you are giving me the bill for it in the form of coldness. I did not know that you were going to be cold to me. That is not something that I wish for.”
He stared at the bookcase, offering her no explanation. She felt herself growing irritated again.
“Very well,” she said when the silence grew heavy enough. “If you will not explain, we will proceed on the terms you offered.”
It was a way to keep the peace, even if it was for the time being. She did not know what she could say to him now that would make him look at things any differently.
“I can do that,” he said.
“I am sure you can,” she was curt in her response now.
He set his jaw, then reached for the keys and placed them in her palm, “You are mistress here,” he said. “If anyone in this house makes you small, you will tell me.”
“You already have,” she said.
“Anyone other than me.”
“I am not afraid of your staff,” she said. “Nor am I a child sent to the stillroom for being in the way. I ran a life before I had a house; I can run a house without your schedule.”
“Then there is little to quarrel about,” he said.
“There iseverythingto quarrel about,” she said, and then stopped.
Anger would do her no good.
She opened her fingers and looked at the keys. “What would you like from me first, Your Grace? A tour of the scullery to demonstrate that I am not a burden? A parade of ledgers? An inventory of virtue?”
“Do not mock,” he said, but the bite was dulled.
“Then do not hand me a household as if it were a consolation prize.” She inhaled and let it out through her teeth. “Tell meonetrue thing I can use. And I do not want for it to be an instruction or a timetable, but I want you to tell me the truth only.”
He thought so long she heard the clock in the corridor strike the quarter.
“I will not be the reason you are afraid,” he said finally.
“That is a vow you can keep?” she blinked.
“Yes,” he said simply.
“Then keep it,” she said, nodding now. “And stop behaving as if your very presence is the thing I should fear.”
He nodded once, the movement abrupt.
“Tea is at four,” he said, and she almost laughed at the absurd return to logistics. “The housekeeper will come to you then. If you prefer another hour, send a note.”