“Both,” he said.
“So we are to be polite acquaintances with a shared roof.” She tilted her head. “We could have arranged that without a sacrament.”
“The sacrament supplies protection,” he said, steady. “That was your stated wish, and it has been granted to you. Now I would not expect you to make a fuss.”
“My wish,” she said, “was to be chosen. By someone who would then stay.”
“You are chosen,” he argued and gave her a look that implied that she was being silly.
Silly, or too emotional perhaps. It was one of the two, surely.
“Yes, but I mean to say chosen in a more certain way…”
He cut her off before she had a chance to continue her words.
“Let it be known, Maria, that you are safe here and you have a roof over your head,” he said. “Here you shall not be a burden to anyone. That had been your original intention, and it has now been achieved.”
She stared at him for a moment. It was not as though he was uttering a lie. He was entirely correct to say that, as that had been her original intention. But then, somewhere along the way, she had started to wonder what it would be like to want slightly more for herself.
“You speak as if you have lifted a weight off your conscience and set it on my doorstep,” she said. It was not a clear way to articulate her feelings, but it was the safest one.
“If you are determined to take offense….” Stephen droned on.
“I am determined to take you at your word.” Her hands were no longer steady. She held them up so he could see the trembling. “Why are you doing thistome?”
“To you,” he repeated, “Frankly, I am rather surprised that you are behaving in this manner. I thought that you would be happy at having married now.”
“Yes, I am not denying that,” she sighed. “But I did not expect you to be cold to me. Did I wrong you on the way to the altar?”
“No,” he said, simply. She found herself wishing that he would offer her more of an explanation.
“Then why the distance?” she tried to ask.
He set his hands behind his back and seemed to be lost in thought.
“Because it is kinder,” he said at last.
Kinder?“For whom?” she asked.
“For you,” he said. “And for me. There is less injury where there is less opportunity.”
“Less opportunity?” she repeated. “I do not know why you are phrasing our marriage in these terms. It appears to me quite cold, and I did not expect you to be so cold.”
Stephen raised an eyebrow. “I suppose we both will have to manage and readjust our expectations towards one another,” he said. Even then, his tone was curt.
Her mind was beginning to spiral now. Just a few days prior, he had been so helpful towards her, and he had been understanding of her needs. Now that they had made a vow to each other, it was as though his personality had shifted entirely.
“Why must you be this cold?” She found her voice breaking, despite her best effort to keep it together in front of him.
“Experience is a miserable tutor,” he mumbled. “That is the only honest statement I can claim to make today, and I would suggest you not take any of this to heart. It is better to be practical.”
“What other statements will you make?” she snapped, and then steadied herself. “I will ask plainly since you prefer plain. Do you intend to be a husband, or only the owner of the property I live in?”
“You will find me dutiful,” he said simply.
“Dutiful,” she repeated. “To accounts and schedules perhaps, but not tome.”
“As I said, I will be dutiful. And you may infer from that as you wish,” he said. “There is no need to needlessly make this into an emotional conversation.”