"Do you believe in me Calvin?"
"Without a doubt, I do. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t." I want to tell her that she can sing and it is powerful. Her beats suck but it’s an easy fix. Her look and her sound will take the industry by storm. But I don’t tell her this yet, and wont until I see her bleeding it.
Jenny
I wake up exhausted from yet another argument with Noah where Cal is concerned. He was out with that red head last night and my stress call to Noah told me I deserved it for not owning that I feel the same.
Right now, I needed all the drama to go away so I could focus. Sully booked out four hours today to prep me on some new techniques for dermal and branding. I had some volunteers that were getting free work to allow me to try the techniques on them. Supervised by Sam who would be using volunteers of his own for instruction.
He was a great teacher. He knew what pace I needed and lead me easily. It helped we were friends before I started here and he wanted a stable life for me. There were more and more walk in's coming for my section in the studio and he would convince them to schedule if I wasn’t in there.
I had a feeling at the end of this training he would tell me it was time to leave Skin. Change scared me though and Skin had been my job for over six years, since I turned twenty-one. It is comfortable because I know it.
I came early to have lunch and talk with him on this shit storm with Cal, in hopes of getting some advice on actually leaving Skin for good. It was hard to discuss that with Noah, knowing he was biased to both our sides, plus he hated that I worked at Skin. As I walk in the door of the PIT I could hear the screaming from the entry way, but now I saw the couple fighting and my heart broke. Sully looked at me. "Go wait in my booth Jen, I'll be there in a minute." He says and dismisses me when Deja yelled to me.
"He can be there now Jen. This shit is over and nothing left to be said." She yells, setting him off.
Oh, shit this is uncomfortable. There are customers, and the volunteers. Asa, CD and Noah all had clients on their tables and Otto was due any minute for his first client. This was bad, but I figure Noah would stop it if it got out of hand.
I had wanted to vent about all the shit with Cal, but after seeing this blow up... no I couldn’t.
Everyone in the studio listened while he deals with his ex-wife. Honestly this was the first time I ever saw anyone not be captivated by him- or his presence. Sully was commanding. He had the ability to be both magnanimous and lethal depending on who he dealt with.
He was neither with Deja. I suppose it’s because they suffered a loss of monumental proportions that nobody ever wants to experience. Seeing her in a fit of rage fueled tears and his voice cracking from the shear force for which he yelled was uncomfortable.
We all knew they lost a child, a toddler. We all knew it destroyed their marriage, life and the opportunity to heal or recover. There wasn’t a right or wrong here, it just was.
I ran back to the seat by his drawing table and tried to look my cool as he stormed in the room. One look at me was a dead giveaway. “In case you missed it, she flipped me the bird after she kicked the front door open.”
Feeling like shit for not attempting to pretend like I didn’t notice, I look at him and give him the realness he deserves. “Sorry, but it was hard not to Sull.” I stay sitting, wishing I could hug him or a pat on the back…something that told him I may not understand, but I feel the pain. “Wanna talk?”
He shakes his head no and I understand. He looks like he is fighting tears and there’s this underlying frustration that is always present in him, but now it is visible and undeniable. My friend was hurting. “Sully…” I don’t know what I think I could say, but I want him to talk to me. The silence is so much worse.
I decide not to say anything and stand to leave. He deserves silence and time to think and honestly, my issues are pointless in comparison.
“Why’d you need to talk to me Jen?” He asks and doesn’t turn around. He is walking around his room looking at the various things needing a touch up… straightening his art… putting his phone on the charger. He is going through the motions as best he can.
“Don’t worry about it.” I brush it off and place my hand on his. “It’s not important.”
I go to leave and he stops me by grabbing the hand I had placed on his. “I know you’re a good mom Jen. Axe is alive and well because you knew what was best for him. Deja and I were selfish and didn’t do what was best for Kace. If that’s what is on your mind, then rest assured I am the bad parent between you and I.”
I couldn’t understand why he was saying it. I wasn’t a good mom… the best intentions excuse is a cop out when it comes to kids. I know I was a selfish asshole and I had to accept it. I couldn’t change my past any more than Sully could. I don’t know what I will say to Axe when or if he asks me one day why he had it so hard in the beginning of his life.
But me complaining about it isn’t fair because I have the chance to explain myself to him and pray he forgives me. He will have the chance to lash out and tell me to fuck off if he wants, but Sully never will. Kace is gone and he will always be seeking answers he will never get.
“Why would you say that Sully?”
He just shakes his head and looks at his machine sitting still on his cart. “We fought that night, Deja and me.” He looks at me and I see dark desperate eyes looking at me. “I left the party pissed off assuming that Deja was staying with Kace. I didn’t know that Deja had left too assuming I had her. I ignored her calls for three hours, but it was too late when I checked my voicemails. Six hours she had been gone before I knew.” He looks at me now, those dark eyes pooled with tears as he reopens this wound. I had no idea if he was telling me for my benefit or his, I just let him talk.
“We threw parties all the time at the shop. Everyone knew Kace because she came to work with Deja and I every day, but there were people there that we didn’t know. The party that Halloween spiraled out of control…” He shakes his head again and I know what he is seeing in his memory is shaking him to his core. “She was gone. Taken…” He looks at me, tears falling. “Her body was never recovered…”
I cover my mouth with my hand shocked that my assumption of how Kace died was not what I thought. I assumed she was sick. I never asked, I just assumed she was taken too soon after fighting for the short life she had. Looking at him now and hearing him, I am heartbroken that he survived every parent’s absolute worst nightmare. “Sully…” I want to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but he is too deep in his pain to believe and so all I do is confirm what I know. “You are so much stronger than you know Sully…”
I hug him then. I needed to hug him and even if he couldn’t feel the connection to me, I felt the connection to him, now more than ever.
“What the fuck dude? Really?” Cal says, his voice drenched in accusation as he stares us both down. “Is it possible for you not to work your dick into every fucking girl I want?”
“Cal!” I snap and oh the mother fucker how dare he? Before I can rip his ass one end up the other, Sully cocks back and swings at Cal, connecting with his jaw and knocking his lights out.