“Really sissy? You guys act like you weren’t listening in the entire time. You know damn well what happened you nosy bunch of fucks.” Cal laughs and stops instantly when I turn my glare on him.
“What did I miss?” Jen asks and rubs my back in a soothing manor.
“Noah wants to fuck Bright the sponsor.” Cal says loud enough for Jen to hear and I cringe.
“Plus they knew each other from a few days before when she got a tat by Sully.” Shame adds in and I could punch him for not being loyal. He saw my disappointment and shut the fuck up.
“Whoa, heady stuff Noah.” Jen says but like usual she doesn’t judge.
“You just set everyone back Noah. Had you given her a small chance you could have seen she was perfect for the job.” This was my sister attacking me and I made my way towards her my anger evident in every step. I watch Chad make his way beside her and I laugh.
“Back off dipshit. It’s Carrie and nothing could ever make me a danger to her. Step back.”
Chad listened like a good boy and I now stood in front of Carrie. “When will you get that this isn’t your choice. Good fit in your eyes is not a good fit in mine.”
“Bubba she-“
“Enough!” I yell and she backs up a step. I’ll feel bad for that later but right now I am too pissed off to care. “I want to fuck her Carrie. Primal fucking need and that shit is not okay in my situation. It’s one thing when I fuck a fangirl I will never see again but hell no am I shitting where I sleep.”
“Then maybe don’t try to fuck her.” Tayla says and I turn that same anger on her.
“You guys don’t get it. The last person I loved and trusted to come clean too, is dead. I don’t want that fucking cocktail happening again.”
“Then don’t let it bubba.” Carrie was calm as she spoke and it only upset me more.
I pull at my hair and turn away kicking the grass as I yell in a frustrated growl.
“He has to trust his sponsor you guys. It is imperative for him to trust them. This is Noah, Noah who lives and dies by who he trusts. Add to it that he is attracted to Bright and you have Candey all over again.” Jen spoke over my roar and even I could feel the daggers that Carrie and Cassa were throwing at her with their eyes, only pissing me off more.
“Don’t you fucking look at her like that! Don’t you dare!" I drill into both Carrie and Cassa, causing their husbands to go caveman in a nanosecond. "She is right and if that chafes your asses too fucking bad. If you weren't so concerned with how it makes you feel that she has the inside scoop over you, you'd know she's right. You are bothsoin the wrong here I can’t even look at you.” I pointed at both Cassa and Carrie as I spoke.
“Noah…” I could hear the shame in Carries voice as she spoke my name but I didn't care. I shook my head not willing to hear another word.
“Get away from me right now Carrie. I love you, so fucking much, but right now I am so disappointed in you I can't stomach your voice. Leave me alone until I calm down or better yet I’ll leave.”
Carrie spun and ran in the house and the rest of the guys charged me unwilling to let me leave this upset. Not out of fear I would wreck or feel bad for myself. No they only feared one thing and it was a needle. It always came back to a needle.
“Everyone go inside, give us a minute.” Shame said and like the last thirteen months they listened when he told them to leave me alone.
Everyone disappears and I am left with Jen and Shame. One will read me the riot act, the other will comfort me and let me be pissed.
"What the fuck is wrong with you…?" And here she goes. Jen is on a tear right now and I know why but I don't care. "Any shot in hell I had of her ever letting me be a part of your world, of my sons, is gone."
"Jesus, so what just let her sit with Cass and treat you like shit?"
I can feel Shame shift uncomfortably and I know right now this is putting him in a tough spot.
"I don't give a shit about Cass." Shame looks at Jen like all bets are off and he is about to let her know when Jen clarifies. "I just mean that I am not bothered by her hate, she's still hurting and I can't stand knowing what she's been through and I get why she sees me that way Shame."
He seems to accept it, but I don't. "It's cool Jen. Cass knows she's in the wrong, she just can't bring herself to let it go yet so she's easily incensed."
"And where does it put me?" I ask and light another smoke since Miss America took off with my Camel. "I'm supposed to trust this chick but I want to fuck her and I know damn well that shit will fuck it all up."
"Honestly Noah, I don't know. You just set me back six months flipping out instead of hearing their side. You alienated everyone and used me as your reason…" She stopped talking and just walked away, going out the side of the house to avoid seeing them all again and it left me feeling like shit.
Shame ever the calm one that reminds me it's just one day in a shit ton of good days, steals my smoke and takes a drag. "What the fuck am I the community smoker?"
He laughs and hands it back to me. "We have five days to get either a new sponsor or for you to kiss ass and get her back. That's all you need to be focused on right now." He cringes and licks his lips in a nervous way. "Cal will shit two golden eggs for Easter if you don't figure it out fast my man."