There ensued another silence, as soothing as those intervals between sets of car alarm wails.
For the first time in his life emotion was running away from him, drowning out reason.
“What did you tell your friends, Gabe?”
“What do you think I told them? I said that Townes is an old friend of yours, and you were just catching up because he was in town for only a little while. I can tell you right now not one of them believed me. But while they would follow me into battle, I don’t think any of them blamedyoufor ditching me, either, because, you know, sexy, sexy Townes, blah blah blah. And that’s... while on the one hand, that’s kind of funny, on the other hand, it really, really isn’t.”
“Gabe...” She exhaled an exasperated breath. “Do you evenowna mirror?”
“But I’m not Townes,” he said flatly.
She didn’t deny this.
She pushed her hands through her hair. “I’m not interested in him in a roadside way! AT. ALL. I don’tcarewhat Louis thinks. Jasper representsone nightfrom my past.”
“Eden,” he said slowly, with exaggerated patience, “he’snotin your past. He is now a part of your present and your future. Pretty much forever. If your plan is to introduce him to Annelise.”
She went still.
The truth of this fully settled in and altered everything they’d begun to think the future might look like.
“Gabe. Do you notgethowhugethis is for me?” Her voice cracked. “For Annelise? Do you not understand that I don’t have a road map for this?”
Her voice climbed in pitch all the way to the end of that sentence.
He closed his eyes briefly. He drew in a breath. “Do you think there’s a chance in hell I don’t genuinely understand how big it is that Annelise is going to get to know her father? I hope he understands how lucky he is. And I’m actuallythrilledshe’s going to get to know her father—that’s important. Even if—maybe especially if—it’s a guy like Townes. It will be...” And suddenly the fury sputtered, and his tone flatlined into a punishing, dull resignation. “...life transforming. And not just for her.”
Silence.
“Yeah,” she said finally. Her voice was frayed.
They both knew where this particular rolling chair was headed. Right off a cliff. They seemed to be deliberately steering it there. Neither one of them seemed able to stop it.
“The thing is,” he said slowly, “I think you didn’t tell me about Townes because it was just easier not to. And if I hadn’t seen you in Pasquale’s, you may or may not have told me even as he was sitting up there in your apartment talking to Annelise. Because it was easier not to. And that... that makes me feel like shit, Eden. It makes me feel like maybe you’re not the person I thought you were. And makes me question...everything...between us.”
She went motionless.
And then hot color rushed her skin and her eyes narrowed to glinty sapphires.
“Howcould you... howdareyou... I just... whycan’tyou...”
She stood up so abruptly the chair wobbled to and fro like a drunk. It didn’t topple.
“I can’t deal with this right now, Gabe. Withyou.”
He said nothing. Some perverse part of him was savoring both her anger and his own. It was anesthetizing. Even as a tiny voice of reason was making what sounded like a faint air-raid-siren sound in his mind.
“And I guess... that’s what I basically came here to say,” she added slowly. As if deciding that, then and there.
They stared each other down.
He didn’t know what his expression revealed to her. If it was anything like hers, it didn’t look like a person who had won an important point or gained the upper hand or come to a comfortable decision. It looked like the face of a person being prepped for the guillotine.
“Well, I guess itisimpossible for busy adults to date.” His tone was richly laced with irony.
He stood up, too. Reflexes. Manners. Slowly. Just to make the point that he still had a certain amount of control. And because whatever else he was, he was a gentleman.
Even if he was a dick.