A silence. Their words, this exchange: all of it clipped, glib, ironic, almost playful.
A silence. But an invisible presence was crouching in the corner of the room. Something big and dangerous. The silent, seething mass of all not yet spoken.
“The back of the bus?” he said distractedly, casually, tap tapping his pen.
“Does the geographic location of conception matter?”
“Nah. Just checking to see if he’s a liar as well as a jerk.”
“He’s not a total jerk.”
“Some people say that about me, too.”
There was a pause.
“Is that your way of apologizing for being a...”
“...dick, I think is how you put it Saturday? No. I have to ask—what made you think I was a saint? The roadside orgasms?”
“I never thought you were a saint. I guess I’ve been laboring under the impression that you’remature,” she said evenly.
“Well, you’re the one who canceled our first date with a cryptic text. So, you know, pot, kettle.”
Another long silence.
Two clocks ticked off precious seconds.
He didn’t know what to feel. Only that every question he asked would likely uncover a new layer of hurt, a new reality to accommodate, navigate. And as he wasn’t a coward, he had no choice but to keep courting pain and asking them.
“So... have you been in touch with him all this time?”
“Saturday was the first time I’d talked to him at all in ten years. I did try to tell him about Annelise after I found out I was pregnant, but only out of a sense of moral obligation—a man should know he has a child in the world. I didn’t want anything from him.
“He said he never got the message. I believe him. He kind of sussed it out on his own when he met Annelise at the Misty Cat when he was doing sound check... apparently Annelise looks just like his mom at that age.”
Gabe just absorbed this silently. And now that he thought about it, he could see echoes of Annelise in Jasper Townes and vice versa... their eyebrows. The cant of their eyes. Even though Annelise, lucky kid, looked more like her mom, for sure.
“He’s only going to be here for a few days, and so I had to make some huge decisions fast. Which is why I had to cancel. When you saw us at Pasquale’s was the first time we ever talked about it.”
This was reasonable. He knew it was.
And yet nothing about it was making him feel reasonable.
“When I asked about Annelise’s dad, you said, and I quote, he was ‘out of the picture.’”
“He was. And now he’s back in it.”
That did it. The thing in the corner pounced.
“Knock it off. That’s disingenuous and you know it. You could have said to me, ‘it’s complicated.’ When I told you my favorite guilty pleasure song was that gloppy Jasper Townes song ‘Lily Anne,’ you could have said, ‘hey, funny story...’ You could have said something,anythingelse that indicated that somewhere down the line something huge might... blow up in my face. I feel like an idiot, Eden. Is he the reason you didn’t want to get involved?” He wasn’t even trying to disguise the emotion now.
“No, Gabe. I swear to you. He’s just aguy. He representsone nightof my past.”
“He is patentlynotjust a guy. You know it and I know it. He’s the guy who’s dated supermodels, presented Grammys, and so sexy even Louis down at the Veteran’s Hall said he’d be willing to, and I quote, ‘do him.’ How do you think that felt, Eden, to walk in there and see you with him? How much do you think I enjoy being pitied by my friends?”
“So your feelings of what... ego? Pride? Embarrassment?That’swhat’s important here?”
“They’re notunimportant. Do you think how I feel doesn’t signify at all?”