I smile. “I’ve been told it’s a turn-on.”
He shrugs. “Everything about you is to me.” He kisses my lips.
“So we’re…” I trail off. “Not quite fucking each other, but likely will be soon?” I drop my forehead to his shoulder. I’m a mess.
His fingers glide down my hair. “That’s one way to put it. I already told you I want you, and I do. I can’t half-ass this. Yes,we’re married, but I know that doesn’t mean much to you. That said, if you want to talk about this on a deeper level, I’d be happy to.”
“Not yet.”
His hands are all over my face as he lifts it back up, and for a beat, he just stares into my eyes. “I’m going to be forever fighting for you, aren’t I?” He sighs and without following that up or explaining it further, he lifts me and walks us into our bedroom and straight into the bathroom, right toward the outdoor shower.
He turns on the faucet without setting me down, but his mouth is back on mine, filling my jumbled mind with deep swirling kisses, and I have a choice to make.
Have sex with my best friend and fake husband. Or not. Either way, things are about to get very complicated and confusing between us.
20
ROMAN
Ishift Braelyn in my hands, cool water gently falling on us from the rain showerhead above. The shower is outdoors but protected by a wall. Still, we can hear the ocean waves and smell the salt. The heat and humidity are with it, but it’s pretty cool out here. Like a secret garden with rocks and plants. She wiggles in my hands and reluctantly, I set her down.
Wordlessly, she goes for the shampoo pump that’s attached to the wall and I put my back to her, closing my eyes and tilting my face up to the stream. It’s dark out here and my stomach grumbles, reminding me we missed dinner with all that’s happened this evening.
I haven’t even been inside of her yet, and that was already the best sex of my life. It was simply incredible, and it was with her. My Braelyn. Now it’s like I don’t know how to talk to her or what to say. I’m terrified I went too fast. Too rough. That even though she’s out here with me and still naked, our moment is over and will never be found again.
But worse is the thought that she’ll pull away from me because of it.
I was already afraid the marriage piece would cause thatand so far it hasn’t. But this upped the ante, and she’s not ready for all that I come with.
Hands in my hair startle me, and I start to turn, only to have her hold me still. “If you turn, I’ll get shampoo on your face. Hold still. And maybe squat a little. You’re annoyingly tall.”
I smile and step out of the stream to let Braelyn wash my hair. The scent of flowers and eucalyptus surrounds me while her fingers massage my scalp. It’s heaven. My eyes close and a rustling breath empties from my lungs.
Once she’s satisfied with her handiwork, she pushes me back under the stream and I rinse the suds from my hair while she takes my hand in hers.
“It looks good despite our shenanigans. Does it hurt?”
“No,” I tell her, opening my eyes and watching as she examines me.
“Good.”
We continue to wash up, moving around each other and not touching all that much. I had other plans for this shower, but it’s obvious they don’t line up with hers.
“You pushed me away,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper, and between the slapping sound of water on stone and the ocean beyond the wall, I have to strain to hear her.
“That night?”
“Yes.”
“You were drunk.”
She looks up at me with those big brown eyes I’m always lost in. “Is that the only reason? Because the things you said yesterday…” She trails off, and I stare at her, hardly able to form the words.
“I was battling a lot of guilt. You had been Nash’s, and I felt wrong wanting to kiss you the way I did. Like I was betraying him after it was my fault he was gone. Yes, you were drunk. And that was an easy excuse because the rest was far more complicated.”
She absorbs that. “I don’t know…” She audibly swallows. “I don’t know what we’re doing, and it scares me. We’re technically married, and now we’re fooling around, and it feels like everything is out of order and we’re doing it all wrong.”
I comb some wet strands back from her face. “What do you want this to be?”