“Oh, I don’t know about that. Darren has wanted this for a very, very long time.”
I frown. “He told you that?”
“Fuck, no. I doubt he’s even aware of it. There’s a lot of safety in wantin’ the man who walked away to stay away.”
“Because if the man can come back once, it means he can come back again and again.”
“And if at some point he doesn’t—” Beau continues.
“Then it’s worse than if he hadn’t come back at all,” I finish, shaking my head. “So Darren does his best to ignore that he wants someone to stick around. It just becomes obvious when he stops sleeping with half of Los Angeles County.”
The pivot is abrupt, but easy for Beau to follow. “You know about that.”
“So do you, apparently.” I watch him add two shrimp andsteak skewers to my plate—more so than the sausage, they’re expectedly over-the-top—and then pivot back. “What are you and I gonna do about Drew? Do we ask him to stay or go?”
“We don’t do anything about Drew. We just love the fuck out of his son.”
“We can do that.”
Beau gives me a kiss on the cheek and a little shove. “Still can’t believe you’ve been keepin’ this place a secret from us all these years.”
“Oh, please. I told you about my garden a long time ago.”
He’s still laughing when I walk away with my food.
I sit down at my patio table with Lucy, Riley, Mason, Maxwell, and Banjo. It’s a motley crew, but everyone is relaxed and smiling, no doubt helped along by beer or boozy punch or any of the eight kinds of flavored vodka Mason brought with him. As we eat, the others peel themselves away from the pool and form a small crowd around Beau, who might be in heaven. I look at Darren, Noah, Adrian, Sage, Layla, Sebastian, Drew, and the tall, quiet friend Mason brought—Dominic, if I remember correctly—and I try not to miss anyone who isn’t here.
Everyone around me keeps moving enough that it isn’t as difficult as I would’ve thought. It’s a party, and even delicious food doesn’t keep anyone still for long. The music continues to play. Several people end up in the pool again, another few splashing in the spa with the jets turned on. Beau’s dancing like a fool. Lucy is content to sit on the edge of the pool and dangle her feet in the water. Darren’s fingertips tease the waistband of my swimtrunks when nobody’s looking, but then he’s gone again, and the ache in his eyes suggests he might be for a while.
We have to talk, and I don’t know how to say everything he needs to hear. He deserves better than the few words I’d spoken to an empty room.
For now, I throw back his very fruity punch and turn away from where Mason and Dominic are on the verge of indecent against the wall of my house. Sage is laughing with Beau, Adrian, and Noah. Supine has more or less sequestered themselves in the deep end with Drew—apropos of nothing, I’m sure—and I watch as Sebastian gets the giggles about something, fueled by nothing more than lemonade.
The sight is enough of a reason to look for Riley, and I find them sprawled sideways on one of the chairs arranged around the firepit, a t-shirt in their hands. There’s no fire burning yet, but the sun is beginning to set, and eventually the night will cool down. After admiring everyone else’s fun for another few seconds, I make my way to them.
“Mind if I get this started?”
Riley removes their earbuds, shakes their head, and smiles carefully. “Do you think a fire will bring everyone over here?”
“Not for a while. Most of them are still hyped up,” I say. “Once it’s dark, a few more people will crowd the spa, and others will end up close to the fire.”
“For the warmth, either way.”
“Yes.” I’m far too old to take up whatever position Riley’s in, but once I have the fire going, I settle into a chair next to them.The crackle of the burning logs reminds me of the night before, and I blink away the memories, trading them for the chance to follow Riley’s lazy stare. Across my spacious backyard, Sebastian remains amused by something, his curly hair wet from the pool and still a beautiful mess. “You know, if you’d like the fire to bringhimover here, I’m sure I could make that happen.”
“No.”
“No, you don’t want him here? Or no, you don’t want me to make it happen?”
“He should stay with his friends,” Riley responds.
That doesn’t answer my question very well, and while I’ve had a longstanding habit of not prying into Riley’s personal life, I feel like I’ve been given an extra glimpse or two over the past several months. That and too much punch have me pushing a little now.
“When the band first came around, you and Sebastian seemed to hit it off. And once they got hired, you pulled back. Is it better for you this way?”
“Are you going to make me a pros and cons list?”
I raise an eyebrow. “A pros and cons list?”