While I go downstairs for my own cup of coffee, I listen to Beau ramble about things Jake and I covered last night and find the kitchen and living room clean. When I return to Jake’s bedroom and hear Beau’s song suggestions, I tell him to send me a list just as I realize my shorts have been up here all along. As Jake emerges from the bathroom, naked and in search of something to wear to work, Beau tells me about a pool volleyball set he saw at the store, and I give him the green light to buy it. And because Beau loves food as much as Jake and I do, he wants to expand on our simple grill menu, and I don’t have the heart—or the stomach—to turn him down.
I must’ve left my coffee somewhere because it’s not in my hand when I open the balcony door and step outside to look over the backyard. Beau says something about s’mores. Jake joins me in the fresh air and kisses the back of my neck. When I turn around, he wraps his arms around me for longer than I could’ve hoped, and my next breath is the deepest one I’ve taken all morning.
“You okay?” Beau asks me.
Jake raises an eyebrow, and I nod as though Beau can see it. “Yeah, I’m good, babe.”
Once Jake’s slipped away, I tell Beau to fuck Adrian thoroughly this morning so they don’t defile our generous host’s home later, and he’s still laughing when I hang up. I need a shower before I do anything else, so I wander into the last wisps of steam and borrow something clean from Jake’s drawers—too big, but so incredibly comfortable—after I’m done. Raiding the kitchen for breakfast is quick and easy, and I don’t have any excuse to stay longer than that, so I double-check that I haven’t left signs of myself everywhere, and I head home.
I find a terrible reality dating show and pass out on my couch for a couple of hours.
I wake up and eat pizza that’s been in my fridge too long.
I change into swim trunks and a tank top and bring a hoodie for when it cools down tonight.
Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, I admire how fucking good I look, and I know I’m going to laugh with almost everyone at the party. I’ll be causing chaos in the pool, and making sure everyone is fed, and dancing whenever one of Beau’s favorite songs plays. I’ll go in search of pool noodles we never bought and play volleyball in the water with people more competitive than I am. I’ll stay just on the right side of drunk, and I’ll do what I can to keep everyone else on the right side of it, too.
After so much time keeping her my little secret, it’ll be fun to introduce Sage to my friends, and themto her, especially if what I think might happen in a few weeks actually does. I have no plans to get to know my father more than I have, unless he’s decided he wants to get to know me, because holding my breath already hurts. I would love to talk to the members of Supine, especially if there’s a chance I can figure out what spooked Riley. Well,Sebastianspooked Riley, but I want to know why.
And speaking of spooking—any nervousness I’d had about meeting Lucy has only gotten worse since last night. It was gonna be one thing to shrug and do the wholeyeah I adore your dad he’s definitely a great friend of mine and I love hanging out with himroutine, but now that Jake knows it’s bullshit, I don’t know how well I can lie to his daughter. And I hate how much I don’t want to.
I’m home now.
I read Jake’s text and glance in the mirror again, steadier there than I would’ve guessed when reading between the lines is easy. Everything I helped supply for the party is already there, but I leave the bathroom to grab the bag I’ve packed—so I have dry clothes, not because I’ll be spending the night again—and throw my phone and wallet on top of a pair of briefs. I probably should’ve let him know I’m on my way, but my flip-flops are on and I’m out the door before I think maybe I forgot to reply.
The heat through my sunroof. The pop music blasting on the radio. The cars crowding the streets. The beat of my heart as it begs me for answers about what Jake and I are doing, and where we could go from here. I lift my fingers from where I’ve been drumming along with something that will be stuck in my headall night, and I press my hand to my chest to quiet everything there.
I’m in the hills after what feels like forever and only a few minutes, turning onto Jake’s street like I’ve done so many times before. Pulling into his driveway is second nature too, but I jerk to a stop when I remember I can’t lazily drift into the middle of it and park however I please.
Well, no.Rememberis the wrong word, actually.
I’mremindedthat I’ll have to park on one side because there’s already someone else parked on the other. A small SUV. California plates I don’t recognize. The engine probably still warm from a drive through the desert because I definitely would’ve been warned about this if it had been here long.
I drive those last twenty feet or so and turn off the car, scrambling for my phone just to find a second text from Jake, sent about 30 seconds after the first one.
Come over whenever you’re ready. Lucy is already here and she’s excited to meet you.
So much for that talk, I guess.