“When’sMarilynready?” Kayden blinks at me as he hands me my phone, unaware of the internal ruckus he’s causing with a simple sound. “When are you gonna take me for a ride?”
“Soon.” I stuff my phone back into my pocket. Kayden’s eyes follow my movement, and I know the exact moment he notices the way too revealing outline of my dick. He doesn’t say anything, but his dark blond eyebrows lift slightly, and he purses his lips.
“I’ll see you at lunch,” I blurt. “Good job!” I offer him a thumbs-up like I’m his middle school teacher. What the hell? Am I going to give him a gold star sticker next?
It’s a gorgeous day, so we walk down to theMerry Mermaidfor a lobster roll and some homemade lemonade.
“I missed this,” Kayden says as he stops midway and tilts his head toward the sky. His eyes are closed, his eyelashes resting against his sun-kissed skin. We’re nearing 85 degrees, but luckily there’s a cool breeze blowing in from the ocean. A gush of wind plays with Kayden’s hair, and I look away as I mumble, “C’mon, or they’re gonna sell out.”
Kayden shakes himself, then smiles at me. “How come Cynthia never makes enough? She could sell double what she does if she only made more rolls.”
“Who knows? Maybe she likes being able to shout, ‘Sold out!’”
Kayden frowns at me. “You’re weird.”
“You’re weirder,” I throw back like a five-year-old.
“Whatever,” Kayden grins, and I mumble my ownwhateverback at him.
Luckily, there are still rolls and lemonade left when we reach the small seaside shop. Kayden goes straight up to Cynthia, and they hug and start talking. Cynthia is Emily’s mom. Emily’s dad is a lobster fisherman, and together they run theMerry Mermaidon the side. It’s nothing more than a shack, really, but it’s the best joint in town.
All throughout the summer, the deck outside facing the ocean is filled with tourists, and it’s difficult to get a spot. But it isn’t peak season yet, so we manage to get two chairs with a decent view of the cove and the old lighthouse at the end of the pier.
“Fuck, I forgot how good these are,” Kayden moans next to me, chili mayo spilling down his chin. He looks around for some napkins, so I lean in over the table, grab some, and hand him a fistful. “Thanks, man,” he mumbles, his mouth full of lobster.
“Epic,” I agree as I smile at his blissed-out face. I haven’t had a roll in ages. I don’t know why. I just usually bring my own lunch. I can’t cook for shit, but I make a decent turkey sandwich.
When Kayden has scarfed down the rest of his roll and licked his fingers clean, he leans back in his chair and sighs contentedly. “Shit, I didn’t think it’d feel this good to be home.” He tracks a seagull with his gaze as it soars across the cloudless sky.
“It’s good to have you back, K. I missed you,” I admit.
He turns and looks at me, smiling wistfully. “I missed you, too, Caleb. You’re…” He doesn’t finish the sentence, and I can only imagine what he’s thinking.
“You look good, K. Happy.”
“I am, I guess. Happy-ish, at least.” He shrugs, just a barely there movement of his shoulder, and I kind of know what he means. There are degrees of happiness. I’m happy, too, but I could still be happier, if that even makes sense. I don’t feel that deep-seated contentment like I knew my parents had. The kind of feeling where you are just at complete peace with yourself, like you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. I get it in glimpses sometimes, like when I’m driving down the coast, or like right now, sitting here with Kayden, the sun caressing my face.
“Well, it shows,” I eventually say. There are so many things I want to ask him, but I don’t know how to. I don’t want to overstep or make him feel uncomfortable.
Then, like he’s read my mind, Kayden says, “You can ask, you know? It’s okay. If I don’t want to answer, I won’t.”
Surprise flutters in my chest. I have no idea how he does that, how he sees right through me, but he’s always been able to, ever since he was a small kid. I nod because he’s right. I do want to ask him. “Was it tough? I mean, the surgery.” I gesture at his flat chest behind the fitted cotton shirt.
His jaw tightens slightly. “Yeah, it was. The recovery was pretty painful, but Mom was there, watching me like a hawk.” He chuckles quietly. “I wasn’t really allowed to stretch or lift anything for several weeks, or I’d risk pulling my incisions.”
I gaze toward the ocean, zeroing in on a small fishing boat bobbing on the waves. “Are you happy, though? With how it turned out?”
Kayden shifts next to me, and I look back at him, worried I’ve overstepped. He beams at me, his eyes so vibrant and pretty, his lips pulled into a wide smile.
“So fucking happy, Caleb. There… there are no words for how good it feels.” He rubs his chest, and mine squeezes in return, like I’m somehow connected to him.
“I’m happy for you, K.”
“Thanks.”
“So…” I pause, shifting in my seat.
“Ask me.”