“I’m serious, okay? Ask me what it is.”
“This is ridiculous,” he groans.
“Ask. Me.”
“Okay. What should I know?”
“That I’ve never been in a serious relationship before and that I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.” I hold out my hands. There. “Your turn.”
He stares at me, then sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, and along with that eye roll, I have a feeling there’s a bratty side to Kayden I haven’t seen yet. I really fucking want to, though. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Caleb.” His voice is breathy, vulnerable, and again, my body aches to hold him close and whisper against his hair that everything is going to be okay.
“Say ‘before we go any further, there’s something you should know.’”
“Before we go any further, there’s something you should know.”
“What?”
“Oh, God.”
“Just say it. ‘I’m trans.’”
He swallows, then licks his lips. “I’m trans.” He looks away as soon as the words leave his mouth.
“Please look at me, Kayden.” He does, and it’s like there’s a storm roaring inside of him. “I’ve never been with a trans man before, but if it’s okay with you, if it’s something you want too, then I’d like to try.”
“What?”
“To date you.”
He scoffs. “But you don’t date, Caleb.”
I laugh at that, because I don’t really, no. It’s more just one long hookup usually. No feelings, no obligations, no promises. I can’t do that with Kayden, though. I don’twantto do that with him.
“There’s a whole bunch of things I don’t usually do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to, with the right person.” I realize it’s true. It’s not that I don’t want closeness or someone in my life. It has just never felt right before.
“I don’t know if I’m right for you,” he whispers, but I see it there, in his eyes, the hope and the longing that mirrors my own.
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that? I might not be right for you either, but at least we won’t have to wonder.”
His face lights up. “You wonder? About me?”
“I do.”
His face becomes a myriad of conflicted emotions. “Okay, but I don’t want to lose our friendship.”
“You won’t.” I know there’s no way in hell I can promise him that, but I can’t walk away from this. Not when he obviously wants it too.
“No?”
“Never.”
He nods, a timid smile curling along his lips. “Okay.”
“Okay, what?” My heart does that weird flip again, and now I really fucking want to hold him and maybe sneak in another kiss too.
“One date.” He holds up a finger. “One. That’s all I’m agreeing to.”
“Yes!” I pump my fist, and he snorts, shaking his head.