“Love you too, Dad. Say hi to Mom.”
“Sure thing.”
After they leave, I call Emily. I hear the smile in her voice as soon as she picks up. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t my long-lost friend Kayden Somner. I thought you dropped off the face of the earth.”
“Haha, very funny, Em.” It never gets old hearing Emily call me by my full name.Kayden Somner. That’s who I am. I grin at Dad, giving them hell down at the Department of Revenue.Never underestimate the wrath of a dad who loves his trans kid.
“How’s it going?” There’s noise in the background, distant voices, and a beeping sound.
“Good. Where are you?”
“I’m at the store.”
“Should I call back?”
“Absolutely not. Then we won’t talk for another three weeks. Not a chance!” She laughs, and I realize how much I miss her. She was my anchor through college, my daily dose of dopamine, my ever-presenthype girl. The one I could tell everything to without having to fear judgment of any kind. Emily is still that person. She has never, not even once, judged me. That’s not who we are to each other.
Without thinking, the words fly from my mouth. “I kissed Caleb!” My cheeks burn, my heart racing in my chest, as I hold my breath.
Something crashes to the ground on the other end.
“Em?”
“Shit! I dropped a can of tomato soup on the floor. Dude, did you just say what I thought you just said?”
“No?” I close my eyes as I wait for Emily to flip out.
“Oh my gawd, Kayden! You did! Yousodid! You kissed hot-as-fuck, sex-on-legs, Caleb Morgan!” she whisper-shouts.
Shit.It sounds like she’s bouncing up and down, her voice breathy.
“Are you jumping?” I laugh.
“Of course I’m fucking jumping. My bestie just told me he kissed the hottest fucking guy in Massachusetts! Shit, I’m so jealous. Caleb’s such a fox.”
I laugh even harder because I can just imagine Emily jumping up and down in a puddle of tomato soup in the middle of a grocery aisle.
“Sooo? What happened? Did he kiss you back?”
I nod as that goofy smile spreads even wider across my face.
“Kayden?”
“Yeah. Yeah, he did.”
And then she squeals. Emily fucking squeals. “Eeekkk! That’s amazing! He kissed you back!”
My heart does another weird flip, and warmth spreads through my chest. It just becamereal-real now that I’ve told Emily.
“So? What happens now?”
“I… I don’t know.” It hits me like a ton of bricks that I have no clue what happens next. We didn’t have time to talk after we woke up.After we slept wrapped around each other.
“What do you meanyou don’t know?”
I sigh into the phone as all my insecurities come crashing back full force. What if it was just a pity kiss? What if he didn’t mean anything by it? What if he was just trying to make me feel better? What if he changes his mind once he realizes the implications of being with a trans guy? What if—
“Stop! Whatever you’re doing right now, Kayden, just stop.” As stern as Emily’s voice is, it’s also filled with affection and endless patience.