“I met Kaya so many times and I never knew who she really was,” she accused, feeling deceived. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It wasn’t relevant to us.”
“Finding out that the man I’ve agreed to marry was previously in love with his best friend is not relevant?” she spat, her incredulity at his justification turning her voice shrill. “You know everything about my past. Did you not think I deserved the same consideration?”
“It was unintentional. I never meant to hide anything.”
“Do you love her?”
He shook his head immediately. “No! And, she is married.”
“That doesn’t stop people,” she scornfully accused, her envy cloaking her capacity to be fair.
Rian’s lips tightened in a firm line. “Be careful of what you imply,” he chided her, soft but stern. “Kaya loves Arjun. She's not a cheater and neither am I.”
Shame swelled in her and she turned away, walking up to the window nearby. “You’re right. This isn’t about her at all, it's about you. Be honest with me. Did you love Kaya before?”
“Yes.”
“For how long?”
“A long time.”
“Years?” she asked, glancing at him. A single look was enough to confirm her suspicions.
A bone deep sadness took root in her at this realisation, feeling like her heart was being cut open with a scalpel.
Rian had loved Kaya. Not for a few days or weeks. For years.
He had loved her up until just a few months ago. How did one move on from that, especially when they were still very much a part of each other’s lives?
It had taken her quite a while to get over Harish, and he was a horrible man. Kaya, on the other hand, was wonderful. It would have been a momentous task to fall out of love with someone like her.
Then what was Rian doing with Aditi? Was she. . .god forbid, was she a rebound? Was Rian redirecting his need for companionship, something he had wanted from Kaya, into Aditi instead? What did that mean for their relationship and its longevity?
The noise in her brain grew louder, weighing her down and making it hard to breathe.
“Aditi? Speak to me.”
What could she say? With everything she’d just learned, she was afraid that if she told him to really delve deep and confirm his feelings for her, she’d lose him.
After Nanamma’s entreaty for her to give Rian time, Aditi had chosen deliberately to focus on how he made her feel. How well he treated her. She had felt wanted, and cherished. Though he had not said it, shehadfelt loved. Had she just fooled herself into believing something because she wanted it to be true?
What if Nanamma was wrong? What if Rian really couldn’t come around to loving her like she loved him? She would always want more from him. And if he was unable to give her that, then what would become of her? A lifetime of compromise would rip her heart to shreds.
“Doc?”
Aditi stared at him with a heartbreakingly blank expression. The innumerable thoughts in her head created a furor of doubts that left her crippled with fear.
“I need to go to the airport,” she muttered, her feet carrying her aimlessly out of her room.
Alarmed, he gripped her by her wrist when she tried to pass him by.
“Stop!” she cried, angrily fighting his hold.
They stood facing each other, the air heavy with longing, fear, and disappointment. Her distress, her usually smiling face now twisted in pain, felt like a kick in the guts.
He took a careful step towards her, keeping his arms open, a request that was as much for him as it was for her. Little by little, he covered the space between them, giving her every opportunity to deny his touch, praying with everything he had that she wouldn’t.