———***———
“Da!”
“Da!”
I wake slowly. There is a weight on my chest. When I open my eyes, Colton has his head on my chest and his leg thrown over mine. He sought me out in the night. Even though he was asleep, his body still knew to come to me. I usually pull away from everyone’s touch. Mom has a special pat-and-rub she does because she knows that hugging makes me uncomfortable. But lying here with Colton’s breath ghosting over my chest is the most comfortable I’ve ever felt with another person.
“Da!”
I look over and finally realize that it’s Ollie whose woken me. Colton hasn’t stirred at all. I slowly extricate myself from under him, careful not to wake him. He needs to sleep.
I walk up to the baby cage, and Ollie is smiling up at me. He has the same dimples as his brother. I reach out and touch one of them. Ollie giggles. I like his dimples, too. I’ve met people in the past with them, but there’s something about these boys that has me hooked. He raises his arm and yells “Da!” again.
I look back over to Colton, who is still sleeping hard. I don’t want Ollie to wake him, so I pick him up. Downstairs will be better. I need to figure out what to do with him once we get there. I could call Mom, but she would probably show up instead of helping over the phone. I close the bedroom door and head down the stairs. Ollie gibbering the whole way. Does Colton understand him? Does anyone?
“Siri,” I call out. “What is the first thing you need to do for a baby when he wakes up? Give me a list in order.”
The first thing you need to do for a baby when he wakes up is to provide safety and comfort. Greet them softly.
“Pause.” I look at Ollie. “Good morning, Ollie, you’re safe. Siri, Continue.”
Check the diaper. If it is morning, then the diaper will need to be changed. Feeding…
“Pause.” Change his diaper. Okay, I can do this. I don’t smell anything, so maybe it won’t be so bad. The bag with the dinosaurs on it is sitting near the couch. I grab it and bring it back to the kitchen island. I’ll need a flat surface. I look at the marble countertop. It’s a cold surface. I quickly go to the bathroom and grab a towel. Placing it on the counter, I lay Ollie on it. Looking in the bag, I find a diaper and a thing of wet wipes. “Siri, save list. New search: How do you change a diaper? Pause between instructions.”
How to change a diaper: Supplies needed: wipes, cream, and a clean diaper.”
Okay, I’m missing cream. I dig around in the bag and pull out a tube of something. It has a baby in a diaper on the front. Diaper cream.
Lay the baby on a flat surface.
I look at Ollie, who is chewing on the new diaper. “Lie down,” I tell him. He doesn’t. He doesn’t move. I gently lay him back, careful of his head.
Unfasten the old diaper and remove it.
I unfasten the tabs on the sides and pull the diaper slowly away. Again, no offensive odors. As soon as I pull the diaper back, a stream of pee comes shooting straight at me.
For boys, have a wipe available in case of cold diuresis urination.
“Fuck!” I quickly grab the wipes and pull out several. I clean the piss off of Ollie and myself. My mom did this with four boys. What the hell was she thinking?
I get the diaper changed and work my way through the rest of the list to feed Ollie. Thank God Mom had his breakfast sent up too, complete with instructions. I follow them carefully, double-checking each step even though none of it seems particularly complicated. Ollie makes it messier than it should be, managing to get yogurt on his face, his shirt, and somehow my hand.
By the time I get him settled into the highchair with the rest of his breakfast, I feel strangely accomplished. Ollie is still eating when Colton comes downstairs. I look up immediately.
His hair is still damp from the shower, curling slightly around his forehead, and he’s wearing the clothes I left out for him. Something inside me settles at the sight of him standing there in my kitchen like he belongs in it.
Chapter 14
Colton
My eyes open slowly, and for a second, I have no idea where I am. Then I remember. Ronan’s room. Morning light pours through the open curtains, turning everything gold and making the room feel even larger than it did last night. I stretch beneath the blankets, my back popping, my muscles loosening one by one. I can’t remember the last time I slept that hard.
Then panic hits.
“Fuck, Ollie.”
I bolt upright and scan the room. He’s not here. Neither is Ronan. My heart jumps straight into my throat. Where is he? Where did he take him? I’m on my feet before I can think better of it, hurrying out of the room and down the stairs two at a time. I almost trip when I reach the bottom.