“I played hockey? I don’t know, Dad. You’re gonna have to give me more information than that if you want a genuine answer.” Should’ve let the call go to voicemail.
“You went against my wishes!” he yells, making me flinch.
“Against your…?”Ah, Luan.
That fucking receptionist. There’s no way my father would know about any of this if there weren’t currently some pretty interesting news going around about me.
I’ve been on the team for a couple of weeks only, so this has to be a record of some sort.
And still, I pretend like I have no idea what my father is talking about. “What wishes exactly? You have a bunch when it comes to me.”
“Don’t get disrespectful now, boy.”
Inhale.Exhale.
Just because I talk doesn’t mean I am being disrespectful. When will my father understand this? Chances are never.
“I’m sorry. Now, could you please tell me what exactly it is that I did?”
“The entire internet is filled with news about you dating thatboy.” There’s a whole lot of disgust on the last word. “Pictures of him at your game and your hotel. I ask you not to be with thatguy, and you go behind my back to be with him anyway. He is bad news, Grey. Now the whole world thinks you’re…”
We all know the last word he can’t, for the life of him, say out loud. I’m actually glad he can’t say it as that prevents him from putting a label on me, even if that’s what he does with unspoken words anyway.
“The whole world thinks I’m what, Dad?” I press, not because I want him to say it, but because for some unknown reasons, I can’t stop myself from pushing him.
My whole body fills up with anger so quickly, it’s a miracle I’m not steaming.
“You know what I mean.”
I ball my free hand into a fist, using every ounce of my willpower not to punch the nearest wall. “I’m not gay,” I tell him for the millionth time.
“You better not be, Grey.”
“But I do likepeople, other than just women.”
He keeps quiet, except for that one faint growl that strongly disagrees with me.
The urge to scream is creeping up on me with every passing second. The urge to tell my father exactly how many fucks I give about what he thinks of me, about who he wants me to date, is so close to breaking free that my knuckles are turning white from the amount of pressure I put into my fist.
I’m so close to breaking that I can taste it on my tongue, but then there’s the aftertaste. The hate. The loneliness I’ll encounter when I let all of my thoughts run wild. The loss of my family… of everyone I love.
“Him and I aren’t dating,” I finally say, giving in. I take a seat on the bed, lifting my face to the ceiling, my eyes closing.
I’ll never be able to live my life the wayIwant unless I figure out a way to talk to my dad without getting disowned.
As I fall back on the bed, ready to just die right here on the spot, there’s a knock on my door.
“Is that him?” my father asks immediately. “Did you have him inyourhotel room, Grey?!”
“No, it’s just Miles,” I lie at the same time as the door opens and Luan sticks his head into my room. “I have to go. Coach wants to see us.” Without letting my father argue, I hang up the phone and throw it somewhere on the bed behind me.
“You kind of look like someone ran you over with a truck,” Luan says as he comes walking inside without even asking if that’s okay with me.
And I feel like it, too. “Are you saying I look dead in the morning?”
He nods, that signature smile of his slowly making its way onto his face. It’s six in the morning, how the fuck does he have the strength tosmile?
Luan’s still in my clothes. He fills them in surprisingly well.