‘Go ahead.’ He lets out a huge, bored sigh until he yells, ‘No! Not in there!’
There’s barely time to react so I do the only thing I can and dive onto the bed, covering myself with the duvet.
Porscha laughs. ‘Why? Are you hiding a woman in there?’
‘No. Well, yes, actually.’
Does he struggle with low-level lying too? We really do have a lot in common.
Porscha stops walking. ‘Excuse me? You’ve brought a woman back to your trailer? You’ve brought a woman to this secret location? Well, I hope she’s worth it because it’ll cost you your job if the boss finds out.’
‘I can explain.’
‘No. Hang on. I am the boss!’ Porscha spits.
‘It’s not what you think.’
There’s a thumping sound vibrating through the trailer. I imagine Porscha tapping her foot, waiting for an explanation. Then more thumps and a hand on the bedroom door handle. Lord knows what he’ll come up with.
‘CHAP 3 – Hortense – was in there. She’s been sick. The hotel couldn’t check her in before two o’clock, so I offered for her to use the trailer. I haven’t yet disinfected the place. So don’t go in. You might catch what she’s got. Even I haven’t been in.’
Very impressive. But only if he’s lying. I do not want to be in this bed if that awful woman has been in here.
‘Thank God you stopped me in time.’ Porscha sounds as though he’s just saved her from accidentally walking off a clifftop. ‘How disgusting. I’ll get cleaning over here immediately.’
The whole experience has clearly put her off evaluating its suitability as potential accommodation. I hear the trailer door open and feel Porscha’s weight on the steps.
‘Maybe I’ll come back another time. When you have fresh sheets.’ She laughs. ‘Ciao.’
The trailer door clicks shut and, a few moments later, there’s a gentle knock on the bedroom door. ‘The coast is clear.’ Cam opens the door and spots me still hidden under his duvet. It smells of lemon-scented woody aftershave. Fresh and clean. Just like his lavender-scented shirts. The CHAP 3 story was a complete lie. I’m impressed.
‘That woman is stress on legs, isn’t she?’ I say, sitting up in his bed. ‘I’m surprised you’re not on permanent tenterhooks. It’s almost sexual harassment in the workplace the way she’s throwing herself at you.’
Says the woman making herself comfy in his actual bed.
Cam’s cheeks flame.
‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just assumed…’
I just assumed you aren’t attracted to forceful man-eaters with extra-long legs.
‘No. It’s not that. It’s just the whole unrequited situation. I’m not ready for… anything just yet. And definitely not while I’m working.’
Oof. A double blow.
‘That’s completely understandable,’ I say, vowing to back off completely. ‘It must be hard to have beautiful women constantly throwing themselves at you every minute of every single day. If only you’d gone into nature documentaries. Although, knowing your luck you’d be carried off into a South African rainforest by a randy silverback.’
Cam shakes his head, trying not to laugh. ‘Wrong terrain. Wrong continent.’
‘I’m going to have a word with the British government as soon as I return to England. Our education system is clearly lacking.’
Cam throws his head back and laughs, causing an unexpected feeling of joy to spread through me. I throw off the duvet and follow him back to the lounge area.
‘What’s that?’ I say, pointing to the L-shaped sofa.
Cam groans. ‘Oh, man. She left her walkie-talkie behind.’
‘Meaning she’ll be back as soon as she thinks you have clean sheets.’ I giggle. ‘She’s admirably persistent, I’ll give her that.’