We look again at the CONFIDENTIAL papers scattered beside me, the upended bedroom that looks like the aftermath of an orgy and the pile of condoms in the shape of glittery gold hearts spilling over the desk, and start smirking.
‘You had better tell me everything you overheard then,’ he says, shaking his head in disbelief.
I’m just about to tell him when there’s more banging on the door. Cam throws his hands in the air, frustrated. Without saying a word, I dash into his bedroom, quietly close the door, and press my ear to it.
‘Hi, Porscha. What’s up?’
‘Sorry to bother you, Cameron,’ says Porscha, her voice like honey, ‘but I forgot to mention something earlier.’
Sure you did.
‘Okay. What is it?’
‘Did I just hear voices?’
Oh dear.
‘I was on the phone sorting an issue,’ Cam lies smoothly.
‘I’ll need to come in. It’s, it’s rather… delicate.’
My hairy backside it is.
Cam sighs loudly. ‘Can’t it wait? Like I just said, I’m really busy.’
‘No, it can’t.’ She sounds a bit frosty now.
The trailer shakes slightly as she, presumably, forces her way in.
‘I’d kill for a coffee,’ she says.
‘If we could get right to the point. I’m just on my way out to find Graeme.’
‘I’ve just seen him heading to the catering tent. He’ll be there for hours. I’ll do two coffees. Want one?’
‘Uh, no thanks. Here, let me do it.’
I hear a whirring and fizzing followed by Porscha oohing and ahhing. ‘Thank you so much. Is there nothing you’re not good at?’ She laughs as though she’s told a funny joke, while I bristle at the horrendous use of a double negative.
‘Seriously, though, Porscha. I really need to speak to Graeme urgently.’
‘It can wait. Sit,’ she instructs as though he is her pet dog. ‘I need your advice.’
‘Sure. What is it?’
‘It’s about…’
I can almost hear her mind whirring while she makes up a fib. She’s totally stalling. She’s making it all up so that she can flirt with him. I know because I have done it myself so many times since my arrival. It’s not his fault he emits a sort of sexy hunk pheromone. Like a drop of blood in the ocean to sharks, he attracts women from miles around.
‘It’s about these trailers.’
Pathetic.
‘What about these trailers?’ Cam sounds frustrated.
‘I’m thinking of changing mine. It’s too small. I wondered if I could have a look around yours. Do you mind?’
Genius.