“Can I bring my stuff to your house? It’ll just be a few boxes. I don’t know what I’m actually going to do, I just know if I don’t try, I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life.”
“You can put anything you need to in the guestroom closet. You know Walker is going to have a shit fit, right?”
“I think that is the least of my worries right now.”
“True. See you soon, then?”
“I’m going to get packing now.”
“Cali?” Her voice turned meek and my name echoed in my ear.
“Yeah?”
“Are you really sure about all this? There’s no turning back once you do it.”
“Yes, I’m sure, and I do know that.”
“I love you, you crazy fucking bitch.”
“Love you, too. Thank you.”
“Ride or die, promise.”
After we hung up, I ripped all of my belongings out of their homes—all the clothes out of the drawers and off their hangers, all my toiletries from the cabinets in the bathroom. I saved everything from the desktop onto an external drive that was mine and erased myself from the hard drive, grabbed my important documents from the filing cabinet, and found all the other priceless artifacts that had been scattered around the home I had made with Mitch.
Once it was all boxed up, I loaded my car and made my way for Mags’ house, which she shared with another one of my best friends. It had always been the four of us against the world, and I was destroying that in a matter of hours.
Before I could ring the doorbell, Mags was whipping open the front door.
Right when I saw her face, I broke down in her arms. As I blubbered, Mags did her best to comfort me. It didn’t matter that she said; no words could truly break into my heart, which was black and calloused, breaking for a love I knew I never should have stolen for so long. It wasn’t that I was unfeeling or terribly wicked, it was that after what had happened with my ex-husband, I knew Mitch deserved better than me. I was broken. He wasn’t—yet. He’d have a chance to heal and move on with someone who was as kind and thoughtful as he was. In that moment, I knew what was really happening. The baggage I carried had never matched his, and it wasn’t fair for him to carry the burden of my weight on his shoulders.
Wiping away my selfish tears, I looked into Mags’ kind eyes.
“Am I doing the right thing?” It came out as a question while snot poured from my nose and sniffling got the better of me.
Pushing the matted hair out of my face, Mags responded, “If you don’t love Mitch enough to fight for him then yes, you’re making the right decision for the both of you. In time, he’ll grow to see it for what it was. Your actions will be his liberation.”
“When did you get so wise?” I faked a coy smile as I made my way to my car to get some of my things.
“Blame Walker.” Mags and Walker’s journey had been paved with crashing and falling away from and into each other before they were able to heal enough to realize they were better off together than apart. Their battle had been bloody, but they were finally stitching up their wounds with silver threads of love and devotion.
“I’m really happy for you two.”
Grabbing boxes and hoofing them upstairs, the weight of my situation started to lift from my shoulders. Mags was right; in the end, I was doing what was best for Mitch and for me. I just hoped he would see it that way sooner rather than later.
“I can’t say I am overly happy about this situation,” Mags stated in the doorway as I thumbed the keys in my hand.
“I know. You should be pissed at me. Mitch is your friend too.”
“But, at the end of the day, you’re my best friend, and no matter what, I will always have your back.”
“How did I ever get so lucky to have someone like you in my life?”
“Not sure, but you’re stuck with me. Now get the heck out of here before you miss your flight and all of this was done in vain.”
With a long hug, I said goodbye to someone who was more to me than a friend. She was my family.
* * *