Chapter 1
It’s Over
The day before
Cali
It was four in the morning, and as I lay in bed next to Mitch snoring and muttering to himself in his sleep, I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were making a huge mistake. Our house was gorgeous, and our life together was picture perfect. Friends to lovers seemed too good to be true, and it was. I knew I was forcing myself—my heart just wasn’t in it anymore. I wasn’t really in it, not like Mitch deserved me to be.
Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I hastily booked a flight to Chicago for later on in the afternoon.It’s now or never.Mitch was going to hate me, and Mags and Walker would be pissed, but none of that could matter. I needed to do the right thing and listen to my heart.
I had taken the safe route when I chose Mitch over Maverick. It was the smart move, the right bet—but I had chosen wrong. The easy road is rarely the one that leads to truly happy endings. Sure, staying with Mitch, I would have a great life, but is it fair to be with someone who loves you more than you do them? He deserved the freedom to truly find the love of his life. It wasn’t me, he was just blinded by the same safety I was.
After dozing in and out of terrible sleep, Mitch’s alarm finally blared.
“Morning, babe,” he mumbled as he rolled over and kissed my forehead.
“Morning,” I responded with a sleepy smile that hid the truth I knew he would find out sooner rather than later. I had a plan, and it was about to quickly get thrown into gear.
Hopping in the shower, I masked my crying with scalding water.
Mitch got ready for his training session, which would take up most of the day. By the time he was home from practicing putting out fires, I would be at the airport, boarding a plane to profess my love for another man.
From the tiny glass shower, I watched as Mitch shaved and brushed his teeth. I tried to memorize all of it: his sleepy face, the way he smiled and winked at me as he put on my favorite aftershave, the way his eyes looked as they filled with the love he had for me.
Opening the shower door, Mitch leaned in for a quick kiss.
“Love you, babe cakes,” he cooed as he said goodbye to me.
“Have a good day, love,” I responded as I shut the door between us.
I was shaking, but he didn’t notice in his rush to get out the door on time.
As soon as I heard the front door slam shut, I turned off the water, grabbed paper from the nightstand, and put my plan into motion.
My dearest Mitchell Rebel Katz,
This will be the hardest letter I have ever written in my life, and I hope it explains everything that needs to be said. Please know this decision was not made lightly at all. I have been trying to make this work for months, and I am afraid I have failed you and us. Sadly, I know without a doubt that it’s not just cold feet. I do believe we are making a mistake and we should not be together. I love you, but it is not enough. We are not each other’s great love, the love each of us deserves. I have dreamt about becoming your wife for as long as I can remember, and it’s with a heavy heart that I have to close the door on that dream. You’re an amazing man and will be a fantastic father and partner for someone, but I don’t believe I’m the one you’re supposed to be with. My eyes were opened more and more over the last few weeks to things that aren’t going away, getting better, or changing. I know over the last few years I have changed, and that’s a huge part of this. I do take responsibility for my hand in what is happening. I know this is all my fault and my decision. I hope you can understand and respect that. I will always love, admire, respect, and be so proud of you, and I will always be here for you, Mitch. I’m going out of town for the weekend to be alone and truly get my head on straight. Please give me this space. I’ll help with the house if you need it and I do not expect anything. Please understand that the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. I know inevitability that is what is going to happen, and I am so sorry. I do love you, Mitch. I will talk to you soon.
- Cali
My tears stainedthe page as I penned my breakup letter. It was the coward’s way out, but I knew I would never go through with it if I had to do it in person.
“Siri, call Mags,” I barked at my phone, which was sitting on the bed next to me.
After two short rings, my best friend’s voice answered, “Hey, Cali. What’s up?”
“I’m leaving Mitch,” I spit out as quickly as I could. I knew I had to tell her right away, and I knew she was going to reluctantly be pulled into the middle of this terrible mess of a shit storm I was brewing.
“What the fuck? Why? What’s going on?” Her frantic questions spilled out in rapid succession.
“You know why.”
“Maverick?” My best friend wasn’t dumb.
“I already have a plane ticket. I leave at six tonight.” I couldn’t even believe the words that were coming out of my mouth.
“What do you need to me to do?” Just like that, Mags did what I knew she would do—be my best friend no matter what.