Joy at all the different options I had to experiment with. Options Dominic had given me.
Because he loved me. He wanted me to be happy.
Tears pricked at my eyes. I wanted to be happy too.
As much as I was itching to explore the acrylics and watercolours, experimenting with mediums I hadn’t used since my art classes wasn’t what I wanted right now.
No, I had a more fulfilling task in mind.
Grabbing a few pencils and a sketchbook, I snuck back into the room where Dominic was sleeping. Setting myself up on a chair in the corner of the room, I put pencil to paper.
And started to draw.
Lines appeared with ease as I settled into a space I hadn’t visited in years. Where nothing existed except the pencil in my hand and the subject matter. I barely noticed my hand cramping, or how my back was protesting the terrible chair. Nothing mattered except capturing how Dominic looked in this exact moment.
Like mine.
Eventually, he stirred. My pencil halted against the paper as he blinked awake, searching for me. When his gaze fell on me, he smiled sleepily.
And when he saw what I was doing, that smile deepened into one I knew I had to capture too.
“Don’t stop,” he said, going back to exactly where he’d been. “Not for me, Shadow.”
My heart ached at his double meaning.
The truth was, Dom had been right when he’d suggested my muse had left me. But I’d definitely been lying when I said I didn’t want it to return. That I’d moved on.
Every line I drew reinforced that lie.
I didn’t want to lose this again.
I didn’t want to lose Dominic.
But how could I keep him? How could I abandon the life I’d built? Did I want to risk it all for him? Would he stand by me if I did? Or would he walk away, leaving me to pick up the pieces like last time?
I didn’t have any answers, so I just kept drawing.
“Are you really comfy like that?”I asked dubiously.
“Mm-hmm.” Dom didn’t bother to open his eyes. “The comfiest.”
He was lying. The bench we were on was barely big enough for one fully grown male, let alone two. But when Dom had found me out here on the patio ten minutes ago, my sketch half-complete, he’d insisted on finding room beside me.
I smiled indulgently as I took in his sprawl. His upper half was on me, his face smushed against my shoulder, while his legs hung loosely over the arm of the bench. If it weren’t for my hold, he would’ve rolled off long beforenow. I’d given up trying to draw, preferring instead to make the most of him in my arms.
“Don’t make me move,” he murmured. “Just lemme rest my eyes for a bit.”
I bent to kiss his head, fighting my grin. “Get all the rest you need, baby.”
“You’d think I’d be more used to going without sleep.” Dom yawned. “A month out of the service and I’m already going soft.”
“I have been keeping you exceptionally busy.” That was true. It was our fifth day at the cabin and to say we’d been making up for lost time was an understatement. I doubted either of us had had more than three hours sleep at once. All it took was one of us brushing against the other, and suddenly rest was the last thing on our minds. “Anyone needs more sleep than we’ve been getting.”
“Still, I should be better,” Dom groused. “All those years on watch should’ve prepared me to keep up with you.”
I laughed as my face flushed. “Something about you makes me insatiable. I’m not apologising for it.”
Dom opened one eye just to roll it at me. “Like I’d ask you to do that. I’m just as bad.”