The answer hits my brain instantly.
Yes.Of course I do.
But something flickers across my mind before the word reaches my mouth. Razor's voice in Church."You ever think it's weird Mara disappears right after being seen at the hospital?"
It's gone just as fast as it appeared. But the hesitation exists, for barely a second, but it's still long enough. Her expression changes immediately, and she steps out of my arms, shaking her head slightly.
"Bex... yes of course I do... "
She moves around me, gathering her things.
"There's a mandatory gathering tomorrow night," I say quickly. "Angel wants everyone there. No exceptions."
She looks at me for a long moment. Then she nods. A small, sad nod.
That's it. No argument, no fight. And somehow that feels worse. Like I'm watching her drift away, and I don't know how to stop it.
I walk her downstairs without a word. The compound is quiet, a few brothers glance up as we pass, their eyes locked on my wife. I notice it now, the looks. When we reach her car, she slides into the driver's seat without another word.
"Text me when you get to the hospital," I say.I love you.
She nods, and then she drives away.
Why didn't I say it out loud? Why do I feel like I should have, that she needs to know more now, than ever?
Why didn't I tell her I love her, and why didn't she tell me? I remember the first time I asked her to call me by my name, and the sound of it on her lips was like heaven."I love you, Declan...."It is my favourite thing to hear.
When was the last time she said it? Why does it feel like I hardly hear it anymore?
I stand there watching her taillights disappear through the gate anddown the road, and I realize something that makes my stomach twist. I'm losing her.
"Clutch." Angel's voice comes from behind me.
I turn, and he walks up slowly, hands in his pockets.
"You know I trust you," he says.
I nod once.
"And I trust you with my life," I reply.
He studies my face for a moment.
"I'm not accusing anyone of anything," he says carefully.
The way he says it tells me exactly what conversation this is.
"I wanted to talk about what was said at Church."
Angel runs his hand through his hair, looking dishevelled, so not like him. He is usually controlled, put together, and steady.
"I am grasping at straws right now, Clutch. Mara is missing, and we can't find a trace of what happened to her. The only lead we have is her on camera at the hospital. With everything going on… with Four still locked up... we need to follow every lead, even if it's just a rumour."
He sighs, looking around the lot filled with bikes.
"My baby sister is missing, Brother," he continues quietly. "Our enemies are circling."
I don't interrupt.