"How much do you really know about your wife's past, Clutch?"
I push the thought from my head.
Bex quickly pulls on her underwear and bra, then she reaches for her scrubs.
"You know why, Declan," she says finally.
I frown, my sleep deprived brain trying to pull me from the past and latch on to what she is talking about.
"Why what?" I ask, sounding frustrated. But, I am just really fucking tired.
She pulls the scrub top over her head.
"You always say things will calm down," she says quietly. "That whatever is happening is temporary."
Her fingers smooth the fabric down over her stomach.
"How many years have you been saying that?"
The question sits between us and for the first time in a long time, I actually think about it.
Years? Yeah…But those years weren't all bad. We've built something during those years.
Day trips, and quiet mornings when neither of us had to be anywhere.
I try to think about the last trip, the last time we went anywhere… the last time it was just us…Fuck… Why can’t I remember?
Sure, sometimes things get tense around here, but that is the life. That is part of being in this club. And it's never been like this before. Not this heavy or this tense.
She bends down, slipping on her comfortable work shoes, then she looks up at me.
"I don't feel comfortable here anymore." Bex says with a pained voice.
My chest tightens.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
She ties the laces slowly.
"I don't feel safe here," she says. "Especially when you're not around."
I stagger back a step, feeling like she's hit me.
This place is the safest ground I know.
"Bex... baby..."
"Or… even when you are here," she continues, quieter now, "You are so busy, so occupied with club business... We're living separate lives in the same building. I don’t feel like I am a part of your life anymore…"
That one lands like a punch to the gut, and I suck in a breath trying to steady myself. I cross the room and pull her into me before she can step away. She stiffens for half a second, and then she softens. Her forehead presses into my chest as I wrap myself around her.
"You know that's not what I want," I murmured into her hair. "How do we fix this?"
She doesn't answer and that scares the shit out of me, so I hold her tighter.
"Don't pick up any more shifts," I say, because I am struggling withmy feelings right now. "We're tightening security. Everything's being watched right now."
Her body tenses, and she pulls back just enough to look up at me, when she asks, "You trust me, don't you?"