I sighed, not sure what to say. Then turned back to what I was working on, rubbing at the ache in my chest.
Cypher moved beside me and picked up a hammer and nails and just got at it.
“That’s not…”
I shook my head at Angel silencing him. Cypher seemed to need to do this, something with his hands. Work through whatever shit he had going on. We worked in silence for a while until more bikes and trucks approached. It seemed the party had come to me. Axel and Torch brought up coolers and brothers followed with chairs, tools, and more supplies.
I heard Ledger in the background ask, “Is this is a, if he builds it she will come home, kind of situation?”
Then I heard a grunt and Ledger, “Fuck, Cupcake, you’ve got sharp elbows.”
Cypher stiffened beside me when he heard Meg, “That will not be my fucking name.”
Then Torch murmuring, “I’d fuck that cupcake.”
Cypher slipped and the hammer ended up in the wall. He took a deep breath and looked at me apologetically.
“Don’t worry about it,” I offered, not sure if I was meaning the wall or what was going on with Meg. “It can be fixed.”
The night passed in a blur, everyone chipping in, even though I knew it was more of a way to keep me company.
February came without warning, and we were sitting around at the end of Church. A grumbling but smiling Meg with a Cupcake patch and Dani with one that read Haven. Both seemed perfect for them.
“Last item for today's meeting, I propose a run to visit a fellow club.”
That caught everyone's attention. We had been mostly staying to ourselves lately.
“Well not so much a club anymore, more of a ranch?”
“What the fuck are you talking about prez?” Torch laughed.
“Cole Dawson, you guys know him as Hammer.” Angel answered.
Murmurs spread across the room.
“He reformed his club and is in the process of turning his property into a kind of safe space. I think it might be good if, when Four is able, we go and take a look. See what they are doing.”
One of the brothers spoke up, “I can’t believe you are telling us Hammer is reforming his club.”
Meg shrugged her shoulders, “I think that everyone is capable of change, it's thewhythat matters and it has to be something you do for you…” She looked down at her hands and murmured, “But sometimes not all change is good.”
Cypher’s eyes were locked on her, but she had been ignoring him the best she could.
I understood what she was saying, change had to mean something and it needed to come from within. I had to believe that. I had to believe that I had changed, that this club had changed enough to bring her home when she was ready. Because I would wait for her.
CHAPTER 39
- SOMETHING MORE
The months had crawled by, and when Thanksgiving came around, Marvin had disappeared without explanation for almost a week.
Marvin disappearing wasn’t anything new; it was what he did when life got too hard, when his memories haunted him more than a night on the porch with his favourite whiskey could fix.
So after a quiet Christmas dinner when Trevor and I had a fire going in the living room and were debating a board game or a favourite movie, I was blown away when Marvin sat down on the couch next to me and sat down a familiar bottle of whiskey and not one, but three glasses.
Trevor sat across from us, taking the love seat, a confused look on his face. Marvin didn't say a thing; he popped open a new bottle and poured at least three fingers in each glass. Then he slid one across the table in Trevor’s direction, and one in mine before grabbing his own glass, leaning back comfortably on the couch.
So many things were going through my mind at once… I think this may have been the closest he had ever willingly been to me. I looked up, shocked, at Trevor, who had a goofy kind of grin on his face when he grabbed his glass and relaxed back, mimicking his father's movements.