When time was up she stood and walked into the room, she didn’t cry when the test was positive, a look of resolve moving across her features and she nodded whispering “OK.”, like she had made a decision.
Mara and I had never spent much alone time prior to this, but it wasn’t uncomfortable and I wondered if we would have been friends had I made more of an effort to get to know her when I first joined the club.
I made us something to eat and then she asked me what happened. I struggled with telling her the truth, I didn’t want her to feel any guilt. I wouldn’t change what happened. It needed to happen for the final threads to snap and for me to get the courage to leave, no matter what the circumstances.
But she urged me, saying she needed to know. So I told her.
When Remi came to pick her up later that day, Mara left promising that everything would be made right. I wasn’t sure what she thought she could fix. If life has taught me anything, it is when someone shows me who they are I should probably believe them.
Over the time that I stayed at the safe house, Remi came and went, never pushing for more than I was ready to give. But something abouther made me want to talk, made me want someone to know me. Know my story.
So I talked and she listened. And when the quiet would settle between us, she would reassure me that I was a brave, kind, incredible woman who was not only worthy of love and acceptance… of a family of my own that both terrified me but also filled me with a kind of joy I couldn't put words to. She told me one day I would get what I had always been looking for. One day someone would show up and there would be no doubt about their place in my life. About my place in theirs.
Near the end of two weeks she had asked me what I wanted to do next… What I saw as a safe place to land or start over. She had reassured me that if I didn’t know, if I didn’t have somewhere to go she would help me figure it out. But I had a place in mind, one place…
And that is how I ended up at the end of a familiar long driveway.
Remi had a contact drop me off and after slipping a new phone in my pocket told me to reach out for anything. That if this place ended up not being what I needed she would help me without question.
I took a deep breath, breathing in the fresh air, looking at the house in the distance that had once offered me peace and my first taste of safety when I never knew that could exist for me. I pulled the hood of my sweater up to help break some of the wind and I finally took a step and then another and made my way down the long drive.
I hadn’t been here since I left for school, hadn’t stayed in touch. But it was safer that way. Safer for me to keep my past where it belonged.
I had only made my way to the first step of the wrap around porch when the door opened and a man stepped out. Cropped light brown hair, tanned skin and green eyes that I couldn’t forget if I tried. He was 5 years older than me and I hadn’t seen him since he left for basic training and then was deployed before I left for school. Time had changed him as much as it changed me, but I could tell by his expression that he hadn’t recognized me.
Trevor took another step toward me, an old wash cloth in his hands, “Can I help you?” he asked, looking around for what I presumed to be a vehicle or how I made my way onto his father’s property.
“Yes…” I croaked, then cleared my voice. “I am looking for Marvin.”
He looked me over and then scoffed, “Listen I am not sure why you are looking for dad, but he’s at the gym right now…”
I pulled back my hood and the look of frustration on his face changed to confusion, then shock and recognition. A gasp escaped his lips and he took a step back, almost like he was seeing a ghost.
“Molly?” he whispered.
CHAPTER 27
BEX - WATERMELON
I barely had time to nod before he had me wrapped in his arms, pulling me close and breathing me in. Trevor held me for a long time before pulling back slightly and studying my face with a familiar goofy grin. “Welcome home,” he wrapped me in his arms again, whispering, “God, I have missed you. I never thought I would see you again.”
It felt like no time had passed, and yet he was barely a man when he left for basic training, and I was just entering my awkward teen years. And he had grown, filled out in the time since I had last seen him .
I closed my eyes and let my body relax; I wasn’t sure what to expect coming back here.
Marvin had been an old Army buddy of Chief Gray, and the one place that the Chief thought I would be safest until I was old enough to take care of myself.
While Marvin wasn’t soft or gentle, he did keep me safe… even though he told me every day never to let myselffeelsafe… never to let my guard down… and he kept me fed. He never tried anything with me, and if anything, he kept a distance between us. I was never sure if that was for my benefit or because he had no idea what to do with a little girl who would often cry herself to sleep.
It wasn’t until the day his ex drove up the lane. I remember the sound of tires sent fear shooting through me, and Marvin helped me into one of my practiced hiding places. I heard raised voices and then a slamming front door. I tucked myself into a ball and only released the breath I was holding when I heard the code word that meant it was safe for me to come out ‘Watermelon’.
It took me a few tries to get out of the tiny space but when I did Ihad come face to face with a chest of a boy I had never seen before, and when I looked up I had seen a bright pair of curious green eyes.
After that it was Marvin, Trevor and I. I didn’t ask why his ex had dropped off the boy who I had only heard of before that day. But I was happy that he was there.
On nights when the memories got to be too much for Marvin and he’d go out back on the porch with a bottle of whiskey, Trevor would make sure I was taken care of, he’d read to me and tell me stories about what our lives would look like when we grew up. Trevor had been my first taste of what family could be like and when he left for basic training and ended up being deployed before I could say goodbye I had been devastated, feeling another layer of loss, feeling like one more thing had been taken from me.
I had been homeschooled to keep me safe, which was basically me working through the old books Marvin would leave for me. I learned to cook and clean, fell in love with science and medicine and decided I wanted to be like the people Marv talked about in his stories, the people who were brave and saved others.