But we have to.
I have to.
I don’t know how much time passes before I lift my head, to my left is Ledger, my right Axel. In the chair is Torch, and at the door stand Angel and Cypher.
We stayed like that for a while, taking in the wreckage. Letting our reflections show us the truth. We need to do better, be better.
Because if a butterfly can be brave enough to flap its delicate wings in a storm… We can be brave enough to face what we have done and become what we thought we were all along.
CHAPTER 26
BEX - HER FUTURE
I slept for what felt like an entire week, tucked away from the world. Remi had assured me that no one knew about the safe house outside of her and Ava, and that even Ava rarely used the place. And I believed her.
I had heard all about the young women who were working tirelessly to better this community and many others. For those who didn’t have a voice of their own, for those who had nowhere else to turn. But meeting her in person had put it all into perspective. Shewasyoung, but sage in a way someone only gets after living through something that fundamentally changes who you are at your core.
They say like recognizes like, and a part of my soul, a part of me that had been forever changed, recognized that in Remi.
Wrapped in the security of the safe house, I finally let go. I cried myself to sleep that first day, and finally drifted off into a heavy, dreamless sleep, so much so that I hadn’t heard Remi return with groceries. It wasn’t until I had woken up the next day, eyes gritty and head heavy, that I wandered out through the small space and saw Remi sitting in the small kitchen with a tea in her hand that I realized I wasn’t alone.
She gave me a bright smile and slowly stood, as if she wanted me to know she wasn’t a threat, like she didn’t want to spook me.
“How are you feeling?” She asked.
I opened my mouth to respond, but my throat was dry and scratchy. She seemed to understand and, without saying a word, went to the sink and poured me a glass of water, placed it on the counter and stepped back, giving me space.
The best way to describe her was calm, steady, present. I knew thatshe was busy; I could tell she was running on fumes, but she never let it show, never rushed a moment just to make it to the next.
I picked up the cool glass and drank it in one go, realizing it had probably been too long since I had eaten or drank anything.
Remi filled my glass without question and then moved around the small space, showing me the food she had brought and letting me know that she would be back in a few days. Before she left she asked me if it would be ok if she brought a friend back with her, I kind of assumed it was Ava, the other counsellor at the clinic, so I agreed and after making myself something to eat crawled back into the bed. And that had pretty much been my routine, sleeping and eating, until the day Remi came back. But the person who was with her wasn’t who I had expected, although I was very happy to see that she was safe and healing.
Mara’s eyes raked over me and then she took a few steps toward me, when I flinched she stopped, eyes going wide and then burst into tears.
“I am so sorry.” She choked out and against everything that I had learned in this life I moved towards her, arms open and without hesitation she dove into them. It took her a few minutes to calm her tears and then step back, her eyes tracked over my healing lip, over the bruised colouring I knew lived under my eyes.
Remi cleared her throat, “Should we sit?”
She motioned to the small living space with a small couch and arm chair. She took the couch, and Mara followed leaving me to sit tucked up on the chair.
Remi’s eyes locked onto mine, “I hope this is ok?”
I nodded, trying my best at a smile.
And she huffed out a laugh. “I have to say this visit has a dual purpose. Mara somehow figured out that it was you who I had left the other day to take care of and wanted to make sure that you were ok…” Remi looked at Mara, who hadn’t taken her eyes off of me and then back to me, “She tells me you are an ER nurse and that you treated her last…”
That caught my attention, I looked Mara over, trying to figure outwhat could bring her to me. I wasn’t a doctor and I didn’t have anything with me.
Mara closed her eyes for a moment and then pulled out a paper bag from a local pharmacy from her pocket. She looked down at her hands, “I know this will sound crazy, because I know I can do this on my own and I don’t need a nurse… to do this.”
I went through the two interactions I had with Mara at the hospital and then it clicked, “Ohhhh…”
She laughed but it didn't hold any warmth, “Yaoh…I… I was careful, but I guess he was messing with my pills for longer than I realized.”
Remi stood slowly, “If it is ok with you Bex, I am going to give you two some space. I have a few appointments and then I can come back."
Mara and I sat in silence for a few minutes after Remi left and then I sat with her in the hallway on the floor, our backs to the washroom while we waited for the test to show her future.