Her little sister had an unnaturally good aim.No one could best her with a pistol, although Frederica didn’t like shooting after witnessing the destruction of the Battle of Waterloo and almost losing her husband, Samuel.
Mantheria swatted her sword against Andrew’s shield.“Don’t believe him, Andrew.Sunny has translated many classical works from both Greek and Roman into English.That is why he knows all the stories so well.His work ofAntigonenearly brought me to tears.”
Sunny touched his chest.“You’ve read it?”
Foolishly, she had found copies of all of Sunny’s translations after they’d last parted.She could almost imagine his voice speaking in her ear as she read them.Mantheria had hoped that reading them would make her miss Sunny less, but they had only made her long for his company more.Shaking that uncomfortable thought away, Mantheria made a sudden lunge and knocked Andrew’s sword out of his hands.“Papa keeps several archery targets in good order on the north side of the castle, just past the rose gardens.”
Andrew picked up his wooden sword.“When do we start?”
“How about after the wedding party tomorrow?”
Her son nodded.“Come on, Mama.Our training isn’t over yet today.”
As Mantheria followed her son out of the stables, she couldn’t decide if she was more relieved or disappointed to be leaving Sunny’s presence.She found herself unable to resist glancing back at him over her shoulder.
* * *
The next day,Hampford Chapel was covered in white flowers of all varieties for Becca’s wedding to the Earl of Norwich.Mantheria did not think that she’d ever seen the castle chapel look prettier.Or perhaps it was the beaming bride.Becca positively glowed, and her soon-to-be sister-in-law Kitty said loudly, “She’s prettier than a prostitute.”
Mantheria agreed with her before shushing the eleven-year-old girl.Andrew snickered.He and Kitty had become fast friends, and Mantheria was delighted that he had found someone his own age.Even if she did wish to be his best friend, always.
The ceremony was lovely, and Lord Norwich was hardly less radiant in his silver coat.Happiness made him handsomer than ever.She prayed that the rakish Norwich would always be happy with her sister and Becca with him.
Mantheria glanced over her shoulder and saw Sunny sitting on another pew.He gave her a little wave, and she flashed him a brief smile before turning back around to focus on the happy couple.Despite not looking back, Mantheria could feel him staring at her.She would be lying to herself if she tried to convince her heart that she hadn’t missed him terribly.So many times, she’d thought,I’ll have to tell Sunnythis or that.Sometimes it was funny or odd things that Andrew said.Or the new word that she’d learned from the scullery maid: addle-pate.Mantheria couldn’t tell Andrew, or he might have been tempted to use it.
Her shoulders fell.Sunny wanted to marry her, and Mantheria would make him a most disappointing wife.She struggled to keep a smile on her face during the chaplain’s words.The ceremony ended, and both Andrew and Kitty enthusiastically pelted the newly married couple with rice.Becca and her new husband ran out of the chapel quickly, and then Andrew grabbed Mantheria’s bag of rice and quickly relieved it of its contents.
After the register had been signed, all the Stringhams were eager to hug both Becca and Norwich in the great hall.Mantheria was grateful for Becca’s forgiveness and her tight embrace.She was still struggling to forgive herself, but maybe it would help her be more compassionate in the future and less likely to scold or give unsolicited advice.
She watched as Becca gave Kitty a caricature of their new little family.Norwich was drawn as a lion, Becca as a tall and clever mouse, and between them was a naughty kitten who looked very much like Kitty.The little girl started to cry.Mantheria’s own eyes filled with tears, for Kitty wasn’t the only one who hadn’t been in Becca’s drawings before.Helen and Frederica had always been a part of every sketch.For the first time, Becca had included Elizabeth as a songbird and Mantheria as a butterfly.Mantheria wasn’t entirely certain that she’d completely abandoned her safe cocoon to fly, but she was trying.
And maybe that was all a person could do ...try.
The great hall began to feel rather closed in due to the crowd, and Mantheria went up to her room and escaped the castle through the secret passageway.She couldn’t help but be grateful that she had learned about the hidden entrance behind the family rooms last year at Helen’s wedding.Although she still felt a pang of something like regret that her little sisters had known about it and not told her.All she had tried to do was watch over her sisters like Elizabeth asked her to.But Sunny was right.Her little sisters were all grown up now, and it was time to stop treating them like they were still children.
The passageway led to an exterior door that was camouflaged from the outside of the castle by a bush.Thankfully it was not a prickly one.Mantheria carefully closed the door behind her and realized that she had not come outside for some fresh air.Her feet knew exactly where to go, and they led her around the castle to a special area where Elizabeth and Charles were buried.Her two late siblings.There were fresh flowers on both of their graves.Papa visited his two lost children every single day and talked to them.Mama did not, but Mantheria did not think that her grief or loss was any less.Some people held their feelings inside and carried them wherever they went.
Mantheria had carried Elizabeth everywhere with her.
Or rather, the voice in her head that told her that she was never good enough had been unfortunately assigned to her dead sister.Elizabeth had been the good twin, but she’d never been harsh or unkind.She had been a happy girl who was constantly singing, usually songs that she had made up.Recalling some of them, the words had not always made sense, and Elizabeth had not stuck with a particular tune.She’d sung whatever and however she’d wished to; and it had been a joyful noise.
She remembered Sunny’s words.Maybe when Elizabeth said to be good, she meant for Mantheria to be happy.And she was trying to be.
Stooping down by her twin’s grave, Mantheria said, “Oh, Lizzie, Becca was married today, and she looked so beautiful and happy.And I feel terrible for trying to convince her not to marry the man that she loves.My mistakes are not your fault.My experiences will not dictate Becca’s marriage or her husband’s faithfulness.Between you and me, I doubt that Becca will have any difficulty adjusting to the marriage bed.None of our younger sisters are frigid like me—afraid of being touched.”
“I was.”
Mantheria turned around to see Frederica, who was the next closest in age to her and Elizabeth.Frederica resembled their mother, with a voluptuous figure and thick brown hair.She had married her childhood nemesis and was now the mother of one son and expecting her second child.
“Samuel and I did not consummate our marriage on the first night,” Frederica continued, as if speaking about such a personal experience was common.“I was too nervous, and he was patient.”
Mantheria stiffened in dread.She did not want anyone to know why her marriage had failed.It was a secret that she’d intended to take to her grave.“I am not sure that Samuel would appreciate you speaking to me about your private dealings as husband and wife.”
Frederica stepped closer to Mantheria and then passed her to place wildflowers, presumably ones she’d picked, onto Elizabeth’s grave and then on their brother Charles’s.She stood back up, tall and confident.“Samuel is not the squeamish sort.And he knows that sometimes being vulnerable is what a relationship needs.He was the one who taught me that.It wasn’t until he told me some very personal and unflattering things about his family and his own struggles that I was able to be honest with him and to trust him enough to be intimate together.”
Feeling her face growing hot, Mantheria stepped around her pregnant sister and began to walk away from her.
“You can run, but you can’t hide from your feelings.Trust me, I know it all too well,” Frederica said loudly.“And if you think going back to the castle and in front of other people will stop me from sharing my opinion, you have greatly misjudged my character.”