Louisa shook her head against the pillow. ‘Nonsense. Both you and your brother take too much responsibility upon yourselves and give yourselves too little credit in return. No one, especially myself, could blame you for my cousin’s actions. And, as I have already told your brother, I was not ravished.’
A tear slid down Mantheria’s cheek. ‘I believe you, dearest Louisa, but that doesn’t change the circumstances. Nor the rumours that will spread about your reputation.’
‘You mean that I have been compromised?’
Sniffing, her friend nodded. ‘Thetondoesn’t care about the truth—they only care about appearances. The only way to save your reputation and good name is to have the protection of a gentleman’s name.’
Marriage.
But she didn’t want a loveless marriage like Mantheria’s. Nor did she wish to rely so heavily on her friend in the future. Louisa wanted to be independent. To forge her own destiny. She had finally awoken from the dream that was the Stringham clan. She loved them, but she would never be one of them. Not truly.
‘I am so sorry if my presence in your home has caused more problems in your marriage,’ Louisa said. ‘What a poor way to repay your many kindnesses. I will find a new situation as soon as possible.’
Mantheria sniffed, shaking her head. ‘Glastonbury and I were not arguing about you... I finally confronted him about Lady Dutton and asked if we could have adivortium a mensa et thoro.’
Louisa coughed. ‘I don’t know what that means.’
‘It’s Latin. Roughly translated, it means a separation of bed and board.’
Louisa brought a hand to cover her mouth. ‘And what did he say?’
‘Alexander told me the same thing my solicitors had—that we cannot have a legal separation because he has not beaten me nor treated me cruelly.’
Louisa knew all too well that words could inflict as much violence upon a person as fists. ‘Flaunting his mistress in front of your face is cruelty enough.’
Mantheria held up a hand and Louisa closed her mouth.
‘Glastonbury also does not want to cut me and Andrew off financially, which must be a part of an ecclesiastical separation. He suggested that instead we honour the spirit of the law. That he will find a separate living situation.’
‘No doubt with Lady Dutton?’
‘Most likely,’ she said, exhaling. ‘But he said that I can keep our London house for myself and Andrew, as well as use any of the Glastonbury estates. His only request was that he is to be able to visit Andrew frequently. Which I acceded to. He deserves to have his father in her life.’
Louisa thought of Sunny. ‘And you deserve to have your own life.’
More tears fell down her cheeks. ‘My life will have to be my son. Once my husband and I are separated, I will have to be more circumspect than ever in my social interactions in order to keep my position. I can’t afford to give the gossips any reason to have my name on their lips.’
‘I understand,’ Louisa said, swallowing down a lump in her throat. ‘I will not besmirch your name.’
Mantheria shook her head and tears fell on the coverlet. ‘No, you do not understand. I meant Sunny, not you, Louisa. You are welcome to stay with us forever. Only, I am not sure how many invitations I will receive after the news of the breakdown of my marriage becomes known. Or if I will still be considered a proper chaperone for you.’
‘Wherever I live, you must allow me to repay the monies you lent me,’ Louisa said, sitting up. ‘You shall need them now more than ever. And I will beg upon my knees to my trustees if I have to.’
Mantheria wiped her nose with her sleeve—very un-duchess-like. ‘I don’t think that will be necessary quite yet. After the behaviour of Lord Barnabas, I believe your trustees will see how unsuitable your Aunt and Uncle Rockingham have been as your guardians. I am sure my grandfather and Matthew will be able to wrest control of your fortune from them and pass it to you. No one is equal to my brother Matthew with a pen. If you gave him enough paper he could write the stars down from the sky and sell you the moon at a discount.’
Louisa forced herself to smile. ‘I’ve always wanted the moon.’
‘And I a bright and particular star,’ Mantheria whispered, pressing her lips against Louisa’s forehead before leaving the room with the candle.
Louisa leaned back against the pillow and closed her eyes. Sunny was Mantheria’s bright particular star, yet they could never be together. Sunny had foolishly thought himself too young to court her, and Mantheria had married another. Despite being compromised, Louisa would not make the same mistake. For in her mind nothing could be worse than to be married to one gentleman and in love with another.
She would be much better off on her own. With or without proper society.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Wick’s legs and arm muscles tightened, as if he were about to run. He took a deep, calming breath, reminding himself that Louisa was safe now. But still he only felt relief when the carriage ride was over and he stood in front of the vicarage. The housekeeper from the day before led him into a small parlour, where Mantheria sat with both Mrs and Miss Perkins.
‘Where’s Louisa?’