“I’m coming,” I cry out, feeling a little embarrassed when I do, but I don’t stop moving, and that orgasm does roll through me.
I can’t stop.
Nothing could keep me from finding my release at this very moment. My pussy clenches, every muscle in my body trembles, and a whimper escapes my lips. My eyes slide closed, and I allow myself to feel every single second of this.
“Fuck yeah,” Gunnar growls.
His hand releases my hair, and then I feel his fingers grip my hips. I keep holding on to his face, not that I could release it even if I tried. Then I hear his voice again as he begins to move me up and down, gliding my pussy along his length and extending my release.
“Open your eyes,” he demands. My eyes pop open and find his sparkling. “I want to look into those beautiful fucking eyes when I come deep inside you again, baby.”
And he does.
He looks deep into my eyes as he comes deep inside my body, filling me like only he can. Consuming me, too. It’s perfect, but at the same time, it very much feels like goodbye, like it’s a farewell that I’m not ready for.
Then, without a word, he buries his face against my neck. His lips touch the side of my throat as he continues to guide me along his length, milking him. I have never felt so sexy in my whole life as I do right in this moment.
When he lifts his head from my throat, I expect him to look up at me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he rests his forehead between my breasts, and even that makes my pussy flutter. Sadness fills me as he slides his hands from my hips and up my back, pressing his face against my chest.
Slipping my fingers from his cheeks, I glide my hand around his shoulders, holding on to him. This is it. I can feel it in my soul. This is the end of us. The end of what could have been but really never was. The end of our make-believe.
The end of my fairy tale.
Neither of us speaks to one another the rest of the night. Once we’ve caught our breath, I climb off him and make my way to the bathroom to clean up. Turning toward the vanity, I wash my hands and slowly slide my gaze up and connect it to the reflection in the mirror.
“You fucked up. You knew it when you were doing it, and you definitely know it now,” I whisper to myself.
Arching a brow, I stare at myself for a moment. Waiting for my reflection to respond to my words. My reflection has nothing to say. Not a damn thing. Except my eyes water. I wipe the tears away that begin to fall.
Slipping out of the bathroom, I make my way into the bedroom and grab a pair of sleep shorts and a tank out of my drawer. As I slip them on, I think about going in search of Gunnar but decide to crawl into bed instead.
Facing the wall, I tuck my hands beneath my pillow as I stare straight ahead at the door. Wave after wave of sadness consumes me. It’s the end. I feel it down in my bones. Pinching my eyes closed, I try to inhale and exhale with deep cleansing breaths, mainly so I don’t freak out, because I’m on the verge of a complete freak-out.
When the bed dips behind me, it startles me awake, but not enough that I turn to look at him. Gunnar wraps his armsaround me, his lips touching my shoulder. He lets out a sigh, and I feel his breath wash over my shoulder before he kisses me there again, and then I hear his voice.
“I love you, Lainey-Rose.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
LAINEY
I love you,Lainey-Rose.
Those words play on repeat in my head, rolling around and around. I don’t know what time Gunnar slips out of bed, but I don’t make a move to let him know that I’m awake. I stay where I am, still, steady, and keep my eyes pinched closed.
He doesn’t just slip out of bed, though. He slips out of my house. I hear his bike start, and then it roars away. And I’m alone. Pushing up to sitting, I lean against the headboard and stare straight ahead into the nothingness of the dark room.
Alone.
I’m alone for the first time in weeks.
I hate it. And not just because I’m alone; I really couldn’t care less about that part. It’s because Gunnar isn’t here. I already miss him. Every single part of him. Bending my knees, I place my feet flat on the bed and wrap my arms around my shins. I’m seriously so screwed up.
I should never have allowed any of this to happen. I genuinely thought I could handle it. That I could have this timewith Gunnar and not fall deeper in love with him. I couldn’t handle it, not a single moment of it.
And now here I am, alone, sad, and pathetic. Kind of the way I was before we started our little rendezvous.
I stare at the nothingness until the sun comes up and my room is bathed in the sunlight of a brand-new day. Then I stay until the hours tick by, and when I finally check the time, I notice that it’s ten in the morning. It’s in this exact moment that I know he’s really gone and not coming back.