“I want Gunnar, someone, anyone, to claim you so you don’t leave me, Lainey-Rose. I have a family now, but you’re my sister.Mine.”
Tears flow again, pouring down my cheeks, down my throat, and into my shirt. “I’ll always be your sister, Axton.”
“But you won’t always be here.”
He’s right, but neither will he. “I need a life,” I whisper. “I need a future.”
“Then you’ll have what you need.”
And that is that, in its own way, I guess. My brother leaves me and Gunnar alone in the house. Neither of us speaks. There’s nothing left for me to say today, I don’t think. He moves toward me, and I should probably tell him that I don’t want to do anything.
But then he shifts his face closer and touches his mouth to mine, and I realize I do want to do something.
I want him.
I want him to make me forget all my emotions and, at the same time, remind me that I’m still here. I’m not gone yet.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
LAINEY
Another day,except it’s notjustanother day, it’s one day closer. Just like every day has been. One day closer to my wedding. One day closer to leaving my life behind as I know it. One day closer to never falling asleep beside Gunnar again, something that I’ve for some asinine reason become accustomed to.
And then there is today. Today is just another mark on the list to get to the end. Wedding dress shopping. It’s been three days since the bakery incident, since my brother came over. And two days since I signed the contract. I'm handing my bakery over to Dakota. I’m not as upset about that as I thought I would be.
I imagined I would fall apart and be devastated when everything was said and done when she took over my life’s work. But I didn’t. In fact, signing that contract Ivy created makes me feel the exact opposite. I feel relieved. And that, while it is a good thing, also makes me feel guilty.
I’m not sure I should feel relieved to sell the bakery. It’s everything I ever wanted to do. It has been successful in ways Inever imagined. It’s my true labor of love, and now it’s no longer mine to claim.
Slipping out of bed, I make my way into the bathroom so I can shower and get ready for dress shopping. We’re going into the city today. Not all of the girls can come, but Dakota, Posey, and Millie will be joining me.
I have no idea what I want, and even if I did, I don’t think I would voice it. A wedding dress doesn’t feel exciting right now. I know what Paul looks like. He’s handsome and everything, but I’m going through the motions, unsure if I can trust anything about myself.
What I’m doing right now is panicking. I can feel my heart racing, and my hands are shaky. Every day that is one day closer stresses me out even more. And what is making me even more upset on top of all of that is how little Gunnar seems to show any emotion about it.
He’s so sweet, and we’ve been in this little routine, a bubble, that I don’t ever want to leave. But as each day passes, I know I’m getting closer to the end of this fantasy. And that’s exactly what it is—a fantasy I wish could come true.
But it won’t.
Once I’m showered, I wrap my towel around my body and stand in front of my closet trying to figure out what to wear. I’ve seen enough wedding dress television shows to know that most girls will wear a cute outfit and get all dressed up for a day like today.
I’m not on television, and I’m not most girls. Maybe if I were excited and happy about all of this, things would be different. I keep waiting for the excitement to hit me, or at the very least, contentment.
But I don’t feel it.
I thought I was content with my decision, but I’m feeling very overwhelmed with emotion. It is all feeling like a lot. A hell of a lot. I wish I could just close my eyes and make it all disappear.
But I can’t.
It’s real, and it’s happening.
Soon.
There is a knock on the bedroom door, and I turn my head to see Gunnar standing there. He’s looking at me, but it’s not with his usual lustful gaze. Instead, he seems concerned. His brows are furrowed, and his lips are pressed into a thin line. I open my mouth and start to ask him if everything’s okay, but don’t get the chance because he begins to speak.
“Girls will be here to get you soon. You good?”
As much as I want to tell him that I’m not, I don’t. He clears his throat, not waiting for my response before he continues.