I am so fucking selfish.
And I instantly hate myself for it. I’m not sure I can move on from this, from the pain that I’ve caused my brother. Because obviously he’s upset. Really fucking upset. And I hate that because I’m the cause of it.
“Axton,” I whisper as tears fill my eyes.
Seeing my brother’s anger, the way it radiates off him, I am second-guessing everything. Every decision I’ve made over the past few weeks, it all seems wrong. Even sleeping with Gunnar. I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I think maybe that’s one part of this I won’t ever be able to fully regret. Just partially.
Never once did I ask him how this, how my future, would affect him. I mean, sure, I thought about my relationship with him. I wanted to make sure that I could see and talk to him, because I do love him. But the bakery, I never thought about that part. He helped my dream come true, and it’s as much his as it is mine.
And I’m throwing it away like it meant nothing.
Like his love for me meant nothing.
“No,” he snaps. “First, you throw your own life away, and then you throw your bakery away.”
My breath hitches, and those tears in my eyes slowly begin to fall. My brother isn’t just hurt—he feels betrayed, he is gutted. Moving toward him, I reach out to take his hand, but he pulls it away slightly, then flicks his gaze to meet mine. He watches those tears fall, but doesn’t comfort me the way he usually would if I cried.
He’s punishing me in his own way, and maybe I deserve it. No, not maybe, I absolutely deserve it.
“I am giving it to the girls,” I whisper. “It’s going to be here, running, business as usual.”
“No,” he grinds out. “It will not be business as usual.”
And then it hits me.
He’s not angry at me, not because I’ve pissed him off in any way. He’s upset with me because he’s going to miss me. He’s realizing that I’m not coming back.
It’s sinking in.
Instead of allowing him to push or punish me any further, I force myself into his space, lifting my arms and wrapping them around his shoulders. I bury my face in his neck and just hold my big brother.
His body is stiff initially, but eventually relaxes, and then he wraps his own arms around me as well. We stay that way until Gunnar clears his throat. Granted, it was becoming an awkward sibling hug anyway.
I take a step backward, and Axton does the same, his fingers curling around my biceps, and then he lets out a grunt before he swings his gaze from me to Gunnar. Slowly, I turn my head so I can look at Gunnar as well, but his focus is on my brother and only my brother.
“That’s enough, Piggy,” Gunnar growls. “Lainey is doing this for you, for Millie, for the club. She deserves your respect.”
“And she has it,” Axton grinds out, shifting my attention to my brother.
I watch as his expression changes as his mind spins. The realization appears on his face, and there is no hiding what he has come to understand. I brace myself, unsure if this is going to be ugly or not.
“But you’re not only concerned about that because you’re a good Reaper. You’ve also fallen for her,” Axton announces. Then he whips his head around, his face finds mine, and his gaze meets my own as he continues speaking to Gunnar. “And she’s fallen for you.”
I stare at my brother, but I don’t confirm or deny anything. He’s looking at me, watching me, but he’s not asking me a damn thing, and I’m not answering him, either. Luckily, I don’t have to answer shit because Gunnar is the one who speaks.
“What we do or don’t have doesn’t matter, Piggy,” he says, and my brother breaks eye contact with me to shift his attention back to him.
I take a step backward, not sure I want to be part of this conversation. I know it’s somewhat about me, but at the same time, it’s not. It feels intimate. So damn intimate—between brothers.
It’s not meant for me.
“It matters,” Axton growls.
Gunnar shakes his head a couple of times, then I watch as his gaze flicks from my brother to me, and then he gives me a wink before he shifts his attention back to Axton.
“It doesn’t, because your sister is just as loyal as you are. She’s made a choice, a decision, and she is going to see it through until the end.”
There is a long moment of silence, and I wait for whatever is about to come next. What comes next is my brother’s voice. Ragged and almost chilling. He clears his throat before he speaks, his eyes on me, a connection that cuts me deep.