‘Well,’ says Art, ‘if we pull this off, I really do want to keep writing with you. I meant it when I said we make a good team.’
‘Oh, so you weren’t just saying that to get into my pants?’
‘I was alreadyveryfamiliar with your pants by then.’ Art grins at me. ‘Seriously, I do think we’re a good team. How do you feel about going through our new scene-by-scenes together?’
And that’s what we do.
We take a break for coffee, and when we’re sitting on a picnic bench behind the canteen Art says, ‘You know, I’m really sorry about not telling you about the job offer. If it’s any consolation, I felt terrible about it. After I saw that text on Tuesday, I was trying so hard to be normal I was sure you’d guess there was something up.’
‘If anything,’ I say, ‘I thought you were more cheerful than usual.’
‘Huh,’ says Art. ‘Maybe I’m a decent actor after all.’
His phone beeps and when he reads the message he laughs and holds up the screen. It’s from Honoria and begins with the words ‘Operation Breaking Bernard is afoot!’
‘She’s having her hair and make-up done at home and getting a taxi directly onto the lot for six o’clock,’ he says. ‘She should be able to get there without anyone seeing her.’
‘I can’t believe we’re doing this,’ I say. ‘If we get away with it …’
‘We will,’ says Art, with all his old confidence. ‘And after we do … you know, we can start looking to the future. Have you thought about what you’re going to do next year, when the show is on its new summer hiatus?’
‘Wow, I’d forgotten all about that.’ Two whole months offNorthside. And no need to scrabble around looking for more work.
‘I’m not saying youshoulddo this,’ says Art, ‘but have you ever thought of doing any other writing outside the soap stuff?’
‘Not for ages,’ I say. ‘I never had time. But …’ I tell him about my long-ago dream of a show about girls like me and Roo. ‘I know the odds of getting it made would be tiny. But yeah. That’s the one that got away.’
‘Well,’ says Art, ‘you’ll have the time next summer. You could always try writing it then.’
And as we walk back to the office I have a glimpse of what our future might be like, mine and Art’s. Writing television scripts together and writing them apart. Writing lots of things.
Making up a whole new story for ourselves.
But that’s all in the potential future. And at six this afternoon, what matters is the present. The hospital set is at the back of the lot, and Des spots us straight away when we walk inside. He claps his hands for attention.
‘All right, lads!’ he says. ‘This is Annie and Art. The pair of them wrote the scenes and Art’s going to direct them. Art, come here for a minute.’
I don’t want to get in the way and I’ve been on plenty of soap sets before so I don’t feel self-conscious as I take a seat at the side of the room. I watch Art talk to various crew members and see one of them laugh at something he says. A few minutes later he and Des walk over to me.
‘Everything okay?’ I say.
‘Everything’s great,’ says Des. ‘As soon as Honoria arrives we can get going.’
Then a familiar voice, a voice forged by John Player Blue cigarettes and G&Ts, a voice that’s been burned into my brain since childhood, scratchy and warm and full of mischief, says, ‘Howiya, lads!’
And there, standing in the doorway in all her zebra-print glory, bathed in a golden spotlight, her blonde wig teased to the skies, her smile radiant, is not Honoria Quigley but the one, the only, Ma Cusack.
‘I told you the lighting lads loved her,’ says Des fondly.
Everything goes smoothly after that. Art carefully sets up the shots with Honoria, the cameraman and the assistant director, and I realise he’s really good at this. He’s calm and warm and he listens to people respectfully, and I see how well they respond tohim, how he brings everyone together. Soon they’re ready to shoot the first scene.
This is it. Ma Cusack is going to say the lines we wrote.
And Art must remember how much this means to me because he glances over and beckons me to his side. He squeezes my hand as Honoria gets ready for her entrance.
‘Hiya, Paddy,’ she says. ‘I’m back.’ And we’re off.
By the time they’ve finished shooting the first scene, I know this is going to work. Honoria delivers the lines so perfectly it’s like Ma Cusack has never been away. I can feel the excitement among the crew, like we all know we’re part of something good.