Which was why, as time unfroze, River drew steel walls up around her heart and hardened them. She would keep Nikhail at arm’s length if it were the last thing she ever did.
“Ready, Shortie?” Ryker murmured beside her.
Before they entered the ballroom, Ryker and Brynleigh had pulled River aside. The couple was planning on having a bonding ceremony next month, they told her with matching grins on their faces, and they were going to throw a big celebration.
Mating bonds were historically reserved for fae couples, but Ryker insisted that from the first moment he laid eyes on his wife, he’d known she was meant to be his. This would make their soul connection official.
River’s heart had swelled, and she’d hugged them both. Her brother and sister-in-law deserved the entire world, and she couldn’t wait to witness their bonding ceremony and celebrate with them.
At the same time, she’d felt a pang of sadness. Their bond, along with their happiness, were reminders of everything her curse had taken and would continue to take from her.
Ryker was waiting for her response, and she knew that the time to enact her plan had come. In truth, she wasn’t, nor would she ever be, ready. But it was too late for that. They were here, and they couldn’t stand in the doorway forever.
She didn’t trust herself to speak, so instead, she nodded. After murmuring something low to Brynleigh, Ryker started moving towards Nikhail. River kept pace with them, adding layers of steel around her heart.
Much like the dam keeping her curse at bay, she vowed never to let anything breach these walls. They would remain unbreakable, a necessary barrier against the handsome air fae who threatened to tear down all her defenses and make her love him. She couldn’t do that, couldn’t risk it.
River held on to Ryker’s arm, reinforcing her barricades with every step. Her dress swished, and her heels clicked, but she barely heard them as she concentrated on safeguarding her heart.
Be strong, she told herself.You’re doing this to shield Nikhail from the pain and devastation you cause.
She kept running encouragements through her mind, kept strengthening those walls, until Ryker brought them to a stop in front of Nikhail. The air fae’s scent swirled around her, but she remained strong. She could do this.
Ryker and Brynleigh greeted their friend while River stood by, studying the floor. The tiles were polished, and her reflection shone back at her.
She was strong. She was steel.
She could do this.
CHAPTER 15
Easier Said Than Done
“Good evening, River.”
Three words. That’s all Nikhail said, and yet with them, he nearly undid all the hard work River had done for weeks.
Gods above. How did he do that? How did Nikhail get past all her defenses so easily? River sucked in a sharp breath, hardening the walls around her heart, desperate to keep them intact despite the way Nikhail’s voice made her feel.
The problem was that he said her name so perfectly, like it was the most precious word in his entire vocabulary. Honestly, if she didn’t know any better, she’d say it was because he was born to say her name, to whisper it in her ear, and to scream it from the highest mountain peak.
And yet.
She couldn’t let him break down her walls, couldn’t let him in. She had to be strong, even though her name had never sounded as perfect as it did coming from his beautiful lips.
Giving in was not an option. Not here in her mother’shouse, while her father was asleep upstairs. Not when the Chancellor herself was holding court across the dancefloor.
Not. Ever.
You destroy things,she reminded herself, inhaling deeply.You cannot let him in. You cannot ruin him. Be strong.
Even with that reminder running through her mind, it took everything she had not to close the distance between her and Nikhail. Her feet itched to move closer and stand beside him.
If Ryker noticed the way her fingers were digging into his arms, he didn’t say anything. That was good because River was starting to realize that staying away from Nikhail would be easier said than done.
It was only then that River realized everyone was silent, waiting for her reply.
She looked up because apparently, her body had a mind of its own and didn’t understand the walls she’d built around her heart, and she met the air fae’s amber eyes. It was just for a moment, but his searing gaze seemed to look directly into her soul.