“Oohh, they have sous vide satyr capretto,” she said. She looked at Prepotente. “That’s what Louis and I are going to get.”
“We’re not looking for a table,” I said to the imp, pushing Louis’s menu out of Samantha’s line of vision. “We want to see the top-shelf upgrades.”
Darla-Dean nodded. She pointed to the jukebox. I could already see that there was a hidden door and hallway past it. “Just push the music machine. Don’t push too hard, though. We just opened, and we don’t need it scratched.”
“Hey, can you make me a milkshake?” Louis said, pointing to the front side of the menu. “I’ll get it on the way out. Wait, what’s the difference between a malt and a milkshake?”
“No,” Imani said. “Remember the warning. All food items convey buffs or debuffs.”
“I know,” Louis said. He held up the menu. “Look, it says the strawberry milkshakes give you 5% to reaction time. And the malts do the same.”
“And I will take ten of each of these flavored sodas listed in the top-right box here. All to go,” Prepotente said. “Make sure I get straws for each one.”
“Ten of each?” Darla-Dean asked.
“Hmmm, you’re right,” Prepotente said. “Better make it twenty of each. Louis is quite right. This establishment labels all of their food items. I have already messaged Jurgen and told him he can only eat here from now on.”
Darla-Dean shrugged. “Coming right up.”
“Come on, guys,” I said. “Let’s get this over with.”
I pushed the jukebox, which was now playing “Sledgehammer” by Peter Gabriel. It moved in and slid over, revealing a short hallway with a blinking neon sign that read “Upgrades” with an arrow.
The whole group of us piled through the dark hallway. Samantha was now chatting with, or at, Jacobus the reverse tooth fairy, who kept replying in Danish. He pointed at Prepotente, and Samantha giggled.
The door closed behind us, and the jukebox sound completely went away. We turned the corner to find a dusty counter lit with flickering yellow light. There were multiple posters on the walls depicting vehicles of all shapes and sizes. There was also a heavy binder on the counter filled with laminated pages.
And sitting on the counter next to the binder was a dead imp with his eyes burned out. The little thing smoldered like he’d just been killed.
Corpse of Hickster. Level 25. Upgrade Imp.
Killed by Akuma of the War Mage Rebellion.
Overalls.
Note for Carl.
I sighed and looted the note.
It was a message hastily scrawled on one of the kiddie menus in black crayon.
Carl, you were supposed to come alone, you moron. This isn’t a tea party. Ditch them and come back.
Behind one of the posters, this one depicting a hairy yak with body armor, was a secret door. And attached to the door itself was a hidden disintegration trap. I hopped the counter, ripped the poster off the wall, deactivated and looted the trap module, did another quick scan to make sure there weren’t more, and opened the hidden door.
“Just come out,” I called into the darkness. “Anything you say to me, you say to everyone. I’m just going to tell them anyway.”
Nobody answered for several moments.
Finally, the darkness shifted and then dissipated, revealing a lone war mage leaning against the wall of a small storeroom. The irritated elf-like mage was sipping on a purple milkshake.
Akuma. The last time I’d seen him was in that forest clearing during Faction Wars. He looked like an older elf, with mottled, sun-damaged skin. He and several other war mages had killed Prince Stalwart and formed a faction of their own. They’d stolen the Gate of the Feral Gods, disappeared, and taken the castle of Larracos. There, they’d supposedly found what they’d been looking for. The Scavenger’s Daughter. Then they fled, and Akuma sent me a note saying that I had to kill Agatha.
We still had no idea what the hell their motivation was.
The war mages themselves only came into existence under certain circumstances. They were the personification of magical energy, and they were not built and designed by either theshowrunners or the AI. They just sort of came into existence after a flesher was resleeved a number of times.
And their heads exploded about ten minutes after death. I had multiple war mage heads in my inventory.