Generated gremlins were suddenly everywhere, crawling over the truck. Mongo and Rend were still inside. One of the gremlins standing on the roof pointed at me and whispered something to another. That second gremlin gibbered something and threw a wrench at my head, but it went wide. It clanked off one of Jamal’s spider legs. The hammerhead shark, who’d been uncharacteristically silent this whole time, let out a little shout.
“Hey!” I called. The gremlin chittered back angrily at me, not actually saying anything. He flipped me off.
“What crinkled their panties?” Hedy asked, looking up.
“We used some of theEmergency Gremlinscrolls to distract the boss. A few got dipped in the pouch. A few got eaten,” Donut said. “I suppose word spreads fast. But how do they even know if they explode when it’s all done?”
To my surprise, Hedy laughed. “Serves the little freaks right. Dontcha worry about that. They’ll still fix the truck true. Probably. I better double-check their work extra good. And I gotta supervise the installation of your new princess throne seat.”
Donut gasped. “Princess throne? What’s that?”
“Seat?” I asked. “Is that what they voted for? A chair?”
“Uh, yeah, sort of.”
“Yooooohoo!” came Samantha’s shout. “Open up. We want to see the beautiful man you got in there!”
“Goddamnit, Samantha,” I said, moving toward the door. I, once again, fell right on my face. Donut yowled, jumped off, and rushed outside, followed quickly by Splash Zone and Bucket Boy. Mongo jumped from the back of the truck, let out a screech, and followed Donut. I could hear Rend giggling and grunting, still inside.
Across the way through the open garage door, I could see Jasha and Radoslav were already in their driveway at spot number three, watching the crowd of people streaming from our spot. Both stood there with beers in their claws. Faint music wafted out.
Hedy moved into the truck and started yelling something at the gremlins on the roof.
I remained on the ground, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. I rolled onto my back, looking up at the ceiling of the garage. Underneath me, the tail of the kangaroo costume felt unwieldy.
There was blood up there on the tall ceiling. It was from when that first gremlin had exploded. I couldn’t even remember what his name was.
We’d come in last place. If that other team hadn’t been killed, we’d be dead right now. No fuss. No epic fight. We’d just be gone.
We’d been the ones to solve the problem with the boss, and it had come at a terrible price. We were so much stronger now, but that didn’t matter. I didn’t like this.
Earlier, I’d felt such relief that I was no longer responsible for the lives of so many. But now that was replaced with this terrible realization that I was barely responsible for myself, too. It made me feel helpless in a way I hadn’t felt since the beginning of the dungeon. Like I was regressing, losing ground.
It reminded me, strangely, of that day my father had smashed the fish tank with his motorcycle helmet. That day all my mollies had died, despite me doing everything I could to keep them alive.
Li Na and Zhang were in the same group as Tran. And I just knew we were going to get more of these matches soon. It was too much.
Faction Wars had been such chaos, but despite all that, I’d always felt like I was in a little bit of control. Just a little bit. That had been large-scale war, and it was so different than this.
Zev: Hi, guys! I’m about to do a dungeon announcement, so I can’t talk for long, but we’re still, uh, required to do media appearances. We’ve been negotiating with the AI, and we’ve come to an agreement. You two are going to go on a show in a few hours.
Donut: HI, ZEV!
Carl: In a few hours? You mean, before the next race? We’re very busy, Zev. We have like seven and a half hours.
Zev: I know, Carl. Every surviving crawler team will be required to do at least one show between races. It won’t take more than two hours.
Donut: CARL WILL STILL BE STUCK IN HIS KANGAROO OUTFIT. IT SMELLS FUNNY, ZEV.
Zev: Yeah, I know. I think that’s why they’re making it happen now.
Donut: WHAT’S THE SHOW?
Zev: It’s one you haven’t been on before, but you may have heard of it. It’s calledPlenty of Plenty. Gotta go, guys. Cascadia is... not feeling well, and I’m required to do the announcement. The AI is making me read a script.
Donut: OKAY. YOU BETTER DO WHAT IT SAYS. BYE, ZEV!
I remained on the floor.Clank, clank, clank.Jamal appeared above me, looking down.