Carl: It’s level 6. There’s a bunch of other skills associated with it, too.
Mordecai: I would just leave it be.Laundry Daywill definitely work, but you’ll get flayed in the process.
Carl: Goddamnit.
Bucket Boy sobbed with joy as we approached the garage.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared,” he said. “I thought for sure this was it.”
“You’re a Faction Wars veteran,” Donut said, though she said it kindly. “This was just a race. It’s okay. Other than the pouch incident, it was no big deal. Just another day.”
I’d been credited with doing 95% of the damage to Prison Pocket, and I’d leveled up three times to level 84.
Donut and I both received Platinum Boss Boxes for the kill, plus I had a half dozen achievements.
From what I was hearing on the feed, we’d been unlucky with our race. Most of the bosses blocking the roads had been city bosses. The only other province boss was the one Zhang, Li Na, and Tran had faced. Luckily, they had all made it through, and the single eliminated team was one of the NPC teams.
The news wasn’t all good. Both Elle and Imani’s team and Louis, Britney, and Bautista’s team had lost two teams, meaning for the next heat, they were all in danger of having to face off against other crawlers.
We had our own problems. We’d come in last, earning an audience-vote upgrade. I just knew it was going to be something awful. Even though the general public seemed to be on our side, I knew from experience, trolls almost always won when it came to audience polls.
The garage door rumbled up. Hedy stood there impatiently, her arms crossed.
“Oh, thank the gods,” Bucket Boy said as we clanked to a stop. “Thank the gods.” He was still trembling. I had the urge to reach over and give the poor kid a hug.
Dr. Metcalf beeped.
Limited details on the next race are now available.
Distance: 30 kilometers.
Track: Wide asphalt-paved road. The entirety of this race will be at a steep decline.
There is one path to this race.
Tasks required to complete: Survive.
Special Rules: You will be sharing the racetrack with waves of generated mobs.
Hazards: I don’t yet know what “waves of generated mobs” means, but based on our performance for this race, plus the fact Captain Kangaroo here is still goingto be stuck in his Halloween costume for this one, I would say we are our own worst enemies. I would suggest we get a weapons upgrade to protect ourselves, especially since the time limit is so short.
Oh wait, we came in last place. We don’t get to choose our upgrade. Maybe we can fight off the mobs with frozen tater tots.
I hate you all.
Time Limit: 20 minutes.
The next race starts in 8 hours.
I groaned. Eight hours? I was stuck in this goddamned kangaroo costume for another ten. And Ireallyhad to pee, too.
“Carl, are you going to be able to use the pedals in that thing?” Donut asked.
“Uh,” I said, looking down at the massive feet of the joey corpse.
“I’ll take that as a no,” Donut said. She scoffed. “It smells, Carl. You know how sensitive I am to the smell of dead marsupials.”
“What the hecks did you do to my girl?” Hedy said, walking up, shaking her gremlin head. “You put her through the wringer, you did. And last place, too?” Her tablet beeped, and she looked at it, frowning. “Well, your upgrade vote just ended.” She sighed. “It could be worse, I’m supposing.”