“You’re telling me,” I muttered.
There was a dirty mattress on the floor and a pile of old dungeon newsletters sitting next to it. He quickly shoved them into a closet so I wouldn’t see them.
He grabbed a tattered, unenchanted scarf off the bed and pulled it over his half-neck.
“Still,” he continued, “the lady mantaurs prey on vulnerable mantaurs. They practice domination and submission magic. They will drain my other half just before their races, which will render him utterly submissive. But since there are two of them, it is too much, and it will make him unconscious. This will increase their stats for the race.”
I nodded. I figured it was something like that. “He’s going to die this next race if we don’t do anything about it, and if he dies, you’ll never get reunited.”
“If my other half dies, I die, too. I’m glad you came to me.”
“Wait, I didn’t know that. I have a fleshmancer waiting outside. We need to get you out of here, and then we’ll need to break Corky out of his garage before the race starts. Once we do that, we can run the ceremony to get you two reunited. We onlyhave two hours, so we gotta move fast. Does that sound good? Will you go with me?”
The strange creature just stood there for several moments, swaying back and forth, while I held my breath. He spent a minute contemplating the stained bed, and I wondered how often people came in here. How long had Milk spent alone in that lonely guild? This was an NPC, but still...
Porky’s white latex suit made creaking noises with every small movement.
“Of course I’ll help,” he finally said. “You’ll have to hire me as a temporary mercenary. Or you can just... manhandle me out of here. But I’ll help, especially if that means I will get reunited with my other half. It’s been so long. It would be nice to not have to lean against everything again.”
I let out a stream of breath. That was a lot easier than I had thought it would be.
“... And I’ll need your help, too. I want you to help me find and kick the ever-loving tar out of this stripper I know. The one responsible for all of this trouble in the first place. His name is Dong Quixote.”
[ 59 ]
We had justover an hour and a half before the next heat would start.
Elle: Na is in. I think. She’s still being creepy as fuck. She’s not actually talking, but she sort of nodded. We’ll meet you at your safe room. Also, I heard about your performance. I am so pissed I missed it.
Donut: CARL DID GREAT, BUT I WAS ROBBED OF A PERFECT SCORE.
Elle: I heard. You’ll get ’em next time, kid. See you soon.
Imani: Dong is being a problem. He doesn’t want to leave. He’s picked up all the nickels we could find, but the sock is back to the size it was when he first got it, and he’s complaining that it has stopped talking to him. We need to keep an eye on him. Donut is talking to him now.
Carl: Splash Zone, come get your boy.
Warning: As this mercenary is no longer on this floor, they are unable to be contacted. You will still be charged their daily fee until you can locate them.Maybe this’ll teach you to keep better track of your hired help.
What the shit?
I sent quick messages to Gluteus and Doctor Bones, who’d also been with Splash Zone in the Desperado Club. I received the same warning.
Carl: I think something happened to the other strippers in the Desperado Club! I can’t contact them.
Donut: OH NO.
Bucket Boy: They’re not answering me, either! They were going to see the new boss guy, Hamed, Anaconda and Damascus Steel’s dad!
Hamed. The leader of the Guild of Suffering. The late Astrid’s “husband,” who had taken over the Desperado Club after Katia and I killed her. I had no idea what was going on with all that, and now was not the time for that whole thing to kick off.
“Goddamnit,” I grumbled.
Carl: Okay, okay. It doesn’t say they’re dead, which is good. And we know Damascus Steel is still alive because Donut saw him last floor. Don’t go back in there. As soon as we get through this, we’ll try to find them.
Dong didn’t answer.
Donut: I HAD TO ORDER DONG BACK TO THE SAFE ROOM. HE’S VERY UPSET THAT HE’S BEING LEFT OUT OF THIS. THIS IS VERY EMOTIONAL FOR HIM.