“Lipstick is dead,” Dario replied. “What are we going to do?”
“We need to find a new one on the track. There should be two out there. And if not, we can use a fewEmergency Gremlinsto keep it running until we find one. Eyes on the prize.”
“Okay,” Dario replied, sounding hesitant. “But don’t get in a fight with that human. If you see him, get back into the truck.”
“I can take that bitch,” Nico replied.
“Maybe. But you can’t take the cat. And if something happens to him, we’ll have to deal with her. If we fall, Penny will be defenseless against her sultry advances. I knew we should’ve gotten a mercenary this round.”
“They were charging too much.”
From the street, Donut let out a deep growl. From the garage came scrambling, and I heard the two Tigrans jump back into their truck and lock the doors. The shield turned back on.
Louis: Guys, make sure you go into town. The weird bat dudes are selling acid rain protection, but they’re going to run out.
Donut: HOW IS IT GOING? IS YOUR TEAM OKAY?
Louis: We’re in first place for once. First place in our heat. Prepotente is infirstfirst. I don’t know if it’s going to last. But before the race that Bodi guy went into Hungry Eyes all by himself and ate like a thousand things from all the different stalls, and his buffs make Eileen go really fast.
Donut: IS EILEEN YOUR LOWRIDER?
Louis: Yeah. I didn’t name her. She has it painted on the side, but Britney thinks that’s the name of the person who drove the truck because the fuzzy dice are pink. Anyway, most of the tracks are like waterslide tubes, and there’s this Satan guy, who keeps saying, “I hope none of these tubes lead to my butthole.” It’s really weird. Sweety, that’s Prepotente’s tapir thing, really likes the water tubes, and we’ve just beenfollowing them. Prepotente says he knows the best path.
Carl: We’re on our way.
[ 46 ]
“Come on, Donut,”I said. I raised my voice to Elle and Imani, who were still in the garage with the camels. They’d defrosted and helped right the school bus. “Come on, guys,” I called. “Let’s go into town.”
Carl: We’re first gonna make a quick stop.
Imani: How are you feeling? You went a little crazy there.
Carl: I’m sorry. I freaked out for a second. Donut talked me down. I shouldn’t have done that.
Imani: This floor is getting to all of us. We gotta keep our heads.
Carl: I know. I know. I’m better now, and I have an idea.
I stood. Donut remained on my shoulder. I returned to the Tigran garage. They’d fled back into their truck at the sound of Donut’s voice. The two Tigrans were sitting in the cab, glaring at us through the shattered windshield. Dario was trying to cover the pig’s eyes so she couldn’t look upon us. Or, more likely, look upon Donut.
“Donut,” I whispered,“Glitzy Pizzazz.”
“Why? We don’t want to hurt the pig.”
I explained what I wanted to do. Donut scoffed, but she did as I asked.
Her headset microphone appeared. She leaped off my shoulder and posted up in the center of the driveway, facing the truck. Across the street, Elle and Imani waited, watching.
Elle: What in god’s name are you two doing?
Carl: We’re distracting them.
Elle: Isn’t that pig off-limits?
Carl: I’m testing a theory.
“Attention, fake tiger people,” Donut announced, waving her paw. “Yes, down here. Yes, look at me.” Her voice rose in volume, and her Auto-Tune kicked on. “You killed our mercenaries, and then you killed your own gremlin. Because of that, you don’t deserve the gift I am about to give you. But Penelope is just an innocent pig, and this is for her. She seems upset, and I know the timing is inconvenient for everybody, but this is quite important. As Carl hasn’t yet practiced with his bagpipes like he promised, Iwasgoing to sing you a song Acapulco, but instead I think I’m just going to talk. I am, after all, a dungeon-renowned bard. But I don’t want you to think I’m attacking you with a song, so instead I will just be giving Penelope some advice.”