Check.
Using children: Making her feel guilty about the children. Using the children to relay messages. Using visitation to harass her. Threatening to take the children away.
N/A, but kind of tries with Sabre.
Economic abuse: Preventing her from getting or keeping a job. Making her ask for money. Giving her an allowance. Taking her money. Not letting her know about or have access to family income.
Check—erodes my savings and steals any funds he has access to, and secretly receives money from his dad.
Male Privilege: Treating her like a servant: making all the big decisions, acting like the ‘master of the castle.’ Being the one to define men’s and women’s roles.
Check, kind of. Just in the way he’s much bigger and uses that to create a scary power dynamic.
Then I move on to a section calledWhat are the Characteristics of an Abusive Relationship?
Are you afraid of your partner?
Check.
Does your partner control your finances?
No, because he has no way to. But hewastesmy finances…I guess eroding them is controlling them in a way.
Does your partner accuse you of having affairs?
Regularly.
Does your partner threaten to kill you if you leave the relationship?
Sort of. He threatens to kill me, period.
Has your partner ever physically hurt you or threatened to physically hurt you or someone you care about?
Yes.
Does your partner often put you down, call you names, undermine your self esteem and confidence?
Yes, all of it.
Does your partner ever force you into sexual activities that make you feel uncomfortable?
Yes, even though his dad says it’s fine.
Does your partner try to control where you go, who you are with and what you do?
Yes.
Does your partner threaten to kill him/herself if you leave the relationship?
Yes.
Have you stopped seeing family and friends to avoid your partner’s jealousy or anger?
Yes.
And the absolute kicker, as if the others weren’t enough:
Do you constantly worry about your partner’s moods and alter your behavior to deal with them?