But the spark would always be missing.
“I just need to figure out where to go next,” I say. “I don’t want to stay here. Wherever I decide, I just need to get through the next few weeks of awkwardness until we can end the lease. Luckily, he's arranged to be away on a work project for most of that time. So it’s just me and my cat and his cat.”
“Ugh, breakups are so awkward when you’re living together. I understand.”
“Yes. So a few more weeks and then I guess the next chapter of Margaux can begin.”
“Seriously, though, Marg. This is a defining time for you that you may never have again and that not many people ever get,” she continues. “This is your time to be selfish. The gap will close, but right now? You’re untethered. You can literally look to the universe and goanywhere, doanything. Without having to worry about a partner, or kids, or any of that other stuff that tends to keep people stuck in one place.”
Her words send a thrill through me, like a jolt of electricity. I’ve been following other people’s plans for so long—his job, his preferences—that I’ve barely considered what I actually want. But now, suddenly, the whole world feels open, full of possibilities.
An idea starts to form. It’s something I’ve thought about for years but have never thought possible, at least not yet.
I’ve always wanted to live on a tropical beach. Specifically Sunset Cay, a tiny archipelago off the California coast. My parents used to take me there every summer, and those memories are some of the happiest of my life—lazy days on the sand, the smell of sunscreen and saltwater, beach walks, and nights filled with bonfires and laughter.Back when dad was still alive and my parents still cared for each other.
It was always asomedaydream, one I shared with my mother. Something I thought I’d do when I was older, retired, maybe ten or so years from now. But now I’m thinking—what if someday could be now?
“I’ve been dreaming of moving to the beach for a long time now,” I say aloud, excitement bubbling just beneath the surface. “What if I moved to Sunset Cay?”
Rebecca lets out a delighted squeal. “Yes!Do it!What’s stopping you?”
And just like that, a switch flips in my mind.Nothing is stopping me. I can do my corporate job from anywhere in the country, and I’ve been writing more on the side—I can continue to build out my backlist. This could be the beginning of something incredible.
We chat some more and then I hang up, and there’s a lot on my mind.
The more I think about it, the more I realize island life is what I want. Writing books on the beach, enjoying warm weather year-round. It’s my idea of pure bliss.
My heart beats faster as the idea takes hold. I open my laptop and start researching—housing options, pet-friendly rentals, how to get my cat, Sabre, through quarantine. He’s been across the world with me, and lived in multiple states, and he’s definitely coming with me on this next chapter. Sunset Cay’s unique ecosystem makes things a little more complicated—it’s why they have so many beautiful tropical fish and birds. So there’s an extra stepping stone to get him there. But that’s fine. I’m used to quarantine because New Zealand has always been the same way. Nothing I can’t handle.
Sabre, curled up beside me, lifts his head as I scratch behind his ears. “How do you feel about living at the beach, little buddy?” I ask with a grin.
He lets out a soft meow, brushing his ear forcefully against my hand, his purr rumbling like a tiny motor.
“Good boy,” I smile at him. “Let’s make this happen.”
I feel lighter, like for the first time in years the weight of compromise and obligation has fallen away. It’s not just about escaping a relationship that didn’t fit. It’s about stepping into the life I’ve always dreamed of, one where I wake up every morning to the sound of the ocean, write my stories under the sun, go for sunrise and sunset surfs, and feel the warmth of freedom on my skin.
My dream life is within reach.
This is my chance. My reset button.
The beginning of the next chapter.
And I’m ready to dive in.
2
DO IT SCARED
The Past
Friend: You really applied for an apartment sight unseen?
Me: Sure did!
Friend: Damn, you’re brave!
Me: I’ve done it that way several times. I do my due diligence and research the hell out of every place online.