I nod and let him keep his hand there, holding on through the tumult of emotions crashing inside me. And for the first time since hearing about those graves, they’re not front and center images in my mind.
My family is my light in the darkness.
Maybe together, we really can find our way out of this.
Chapter forty-two
The sun melts into the ocean, bleeding brilliant hues of orange and pink across the darkening sky. I find Aria outside, her silhouette backlit by the sunset's glow.
"I've been thinking about our conversation the other day," I say, joining her on the porch steps.
Aria turns to me, curiosity in her eyes. "Oh yeah? What about it?"
I take a deep breath, choosing my words carefully. "I think in a lot of ways, your experience mirrors my own. There are definitely parallels with what we've both been through."
She nods, understanding dawning on her face. "I'm not surprised. But how so? Like, anything in particular?"
I stare out at the sunset, memories of my past swirling through my mind. "For a long time, I didn't think I was capable of love. Not for myself, or for anyone else. I was broken, you know?"
Aria places her hand on mine, grounding me. “Having a deranged stalker will do that to you.” Her voice is warm and full of understanding.
"Right?” I nod. “But once I started to heal and learn to love myself, everything changed. I finally opened myself up to love, and found it in the most unexpected places." I turn to Aria, emotion thick in my voice. "With them—with all of you—I feel whole for the first time in my life."
Aria squeezes my hand, smiling softly. In this moment, no words are needed. The silence wraps around us like a warm embrace as the last sliver of sun dips below the horizon.
I take a deep breath, letting the salty ocean air fill my lungs.
"It wasn't easy, learning to love myself," I say quietly. "For a long time, I didn't think I deserved it. I was my own worst critic, you know? But eventually I realized—I had to stop beating myself up over things that weren't my fault."
Aria nods, her eyes filled with understanding. She knows this struggle all too well.
"I had to re-learn how to be gentle with myself. How to quiet those critical voices in my head." I pause, searching for the right words. "And little by little, the more compassion I showed myself, the more I could open up and love others. The more that little voice faded away. I called it ‘Veronica’, and told her to go back where she came from." I smirk, and Aria smiles.
I turn to her, conviction in my voice. "So when Aidan and the guys came into my life, I was finally ready. Ready to give myself to them fully, without holding back. And it's been incredible, experiencing the depth of love between us all."
A soft smile plays on Aria's lips. "It's amazing what we're capable of, once we heal our own wounds," she says.
"You got that right." I let out a small laugh. "Who would've thought I could love not just one man, but four? And that they could all love each other, and me, with such passion and devotion?" I shake my head in wonder. "We're rewriting all the rules out here."
Aria grins. "We sure are. And I wouldn't have it any other way."
Silence settles between us once more as we watch the moon rise over the sea. A new understanding flows between us, two women traversing an unconventional path side by side.
"Makes you realize how universal some things are,” I say. “Like the journey to self-love, and opening yourself up to new kinds of relationships."
"Yeah," Aria agrees. She pauses, seeming to gather her thoughts. "You know, I was skeptical at first too, when the guys proposed the reverse harem thing. I mean, three alpha males agreeing to share one woman? Sounded crazy."
I chuckle under my breath. "Right? Not exactly the conventional romance."
A small smile plays on Aria's lips. "But they wooed me, slowly and persistently. And once we established some clear boundaries and expectations, I realized it could work. There were definitely some messy moments at first, of course."
"Oh I bet," I say. "My guys had some jealous moments early on too, before everyone got more comfortable with the arrangement."
Aria nods in understanding. "Now though, it's like...we're a family. A highly dysfunctional, passionate, messy family." She lets out a throaty laugh. "But that's part of what makes it so beautiful. We embrace each other fully, flaws and all."
I take in her words, a warmth blossoming in my chest. "That's exactly it," I say softly. "The ups and downs just bring us closer together."
We share a look of knowing, two women who have found love and fulfillment in the most unexpected places and unanticipated manner. The setting sun bathes us in a golden glow, and I feel at peace.