My mind drifts to the guys—Noah, Jayden, Killian. Each so unique, bringing their own strengths.
Noah’s leadership and sensitivity.
Jayden’s humor and protectiveness.
Killian’s intellect and thoughtfulness.
And Kai… he came out of left field, to say the least. A quiet leader, a star player… so different from any man I’ve met before.
They all have something attractive to offer. But together, as one unit? “That’s just fantasy...” I mutter.
I wrestle with my feelings, considering the social expectations about relationships.
Could it actually work, the five of us together? There’s no doubt we each have strong personalities. And then there’s my own insecurities to contend with.
I shake my head and laugh softly. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dylan. That’s crazy talk.
They could each have an army of women if they wanted. Why in hell would they all settle for sharing someone? Especially me.
Yet even as I dismiss the thought, a new curiosity takes root.
I continue staring out at the fluttering leaves, symbolizing the ideas swirling in my mind.
Could I really do it—be with all four of them? It sounds insane, but... maybe it could work. If we communicated openly and built trust.
I make a mental note to do some research on polyamory later, intent on understanding how these dynamics play out. It always sounded like something other people did, that I’d read about or seen in movies, so it’s not something I’d spent a lot of time thinking about. I had a friend who briefly dated someone she referred to as ‘Mr. Ethical Non-Manogamy’, and learned a bit about it from her. That’s really the extent of my knowledge on the topic.
But for now, I just watch the leaves dance on the breeze, letting the “what ifs” swirl freely.
No need to rush into anything. I’ll just see what happens... consider the possibilities.
Absentmindedly, I find Liv’s number in my phone and hit the call button. Her voice rings out from my phone speaker after a couple of rings, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Hey Liv, got a minute? I need to sort through some crazy thoughts,” I say.
“Shoot, what’s stirring in that wild head of yours?”
I hesitate. “It’s the guys. I’m drawn to each of them, but it seems like a no-win situation. I can’t think there’s anything beyond friendship, right? I mean… I guess we fooled around last night, but we’d been drinking and I’m beyond sure it didn’t mean anything to any of them.”
“Why limit yourself, Dyl? You’ve got so much to offer. Who says you have to pick just one?” Liv counters.
My eyes widen. “You mean...all of them together? That can’t actually work, can it?”
“Why not? My cousin’s been in a polyamorous relationship for years. It’s all about communication and honesty,” she explains casually.
I’m quiet for a moment, intrigued yet uncertain. “I guess I’ve never pictured myself in that kind of setup. But the idea doesn’t sound...horrible?”
Liv laughs warmly. “Trust the lesbian with a childhood sweetheart to school you on managing multiple men. Especially one raised by two moms in a house full of sisters.”
I have to laugh too. “Okay, fair. You may know jack about dudes, but you know people.”
“Exactly. If they care and you all communicate, what’s to stop you from exploring it?” Liv reasons. “It’s the 2020s, not the Middle Ages.”
I ponder her perspective, realizing she’s opened my mind to possibilities I’d never considered. “Let’s just see what happens,” I conclude. “No rush, no expectations. I’m just...considering the options.”
“There you go. Embrace those crazy thoughts,” Liv encourages.
I smile softly, watching the leaves dance again. Maybe I could embrace more than I realized... like… four hot men.