Were those tears shimmering in his eyes?
I forced a smile and gentled my voice. While all that was true, none of it was his fault. “I’m okay. I’m used to feeling like this, and it’s fine. It’s just a little worse right now. It’s probably not as bad as we think anyway.”
“I’m sorry, Firefly. I do understand, but I still hate it. I hate that there are monsters in the world—in your life—that make you feel that way. You shouldn’t be okay with feeling like that. You shouldn’t have to be used to it.”
I shrugged. “What’s real and what’s right isn’t always the same.”
Liam ran a hand through his hair, looking uncomfortable in a way I rarely saw.
“What?” I asked, bracing myself.
“I don’t want to sound like an insensitive ass again, but there is another option. It’s not justlive in fearorbury your head in the sand.”
That’s not what I was doing. I opened my mouth to defend myself, but the words stuck in my throat. He was right. Crap. That truth stung.
He touched a gentle finger to my cheek, drying my tears.
“There’s another option. You can still believe that most people are good. You can still hope for the best. But at the same time, you can acknowledge and prepare for that small but real chance that it could go bad. You can walk through the world, with not just hope that it’ll be okay, but confidence that if it isn’t, you’ll know what to do.”
Despite the tenderness in his voice, his lack of understanding hurt. He had no idea what it was like to be me. Maybe I did bury my head in the sand, but for good reason. “That sounds good in theory, but it’s not realistic.”
“Let’s just try it, okay? It can’t hurt to learn self-defense or to have some personal protection. Hopefully, you’ll never need it, but knowing it will go a long way to making you safer.”
“No weapons.”
“Fine. Call out from work, and starting today, the only job you need to focus on is learning self-defense.”
My stomach dropped as reality hit. At least temporarily, and hopefully only temporarily, life as I knew it was over.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Liam
Motherfucker. She looked like I gut-punched her. If she had any idea how much control I was exerting not to freak the fuck out, she’d really lose it.
I softened my voice, pleading. “We don’t know anything about this guy yet, but we know he knows where you work. Please, take off, at least until we know more.”
“I’ll take off today, but I need to go Monday. Izzy’s leaving early for her daughter’s game, and she won’t go if I’m not there.”
A small part of me was proud of that stubborn tilt of her chin as she stood up to me. The rest of me wanted to haul her over my shoulder and lock her up until she learned some self-preservation.
The next hour or so was a blur of us taking care of the practicalities. We both called out of work, and luckily one of the new guys from another crew agreed to cover my shift. Jenna packed a suitcase, but she hesitated in her closet for just a little too long.
“You good, Firefly?”
She looked at me with tears in her eyes, a pair of jeans in her hands. “I wore skirts all these years to make a point that I wasn’t scared to wear them. Does it make me a hypocrite if now that I really am scared, I want to wear pants?”
Ah shit, my heart broke for her. Now that I understood, it made sense that she was holding the jeans as gingerly as she would a loaded gun. “Wear whatever you want. There’s nothing wrong with wearing either. Besides,” I said, trying to lighten the mood, “I’ve never seen you in jeans. I bet your ass will look fantastic in them.”
That earned me a shaky smile, thank God. It could have gone bad just as easily. She tossed the jeans in her bag, and I told her to pack more clothes, anything she might want. Once I had her in my house and in my bed, I wouldn’t want to let her go.
She finished in her bedroom, and I stopped her when she started to pack up for Thor. “I have bowls and a bed and some toys.”
“When did you buy stuff for Thor?”
“After that night you were over. I wanted to make it easy for you guys to be there.”
Jenna launched herself at me. Wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face in my chest. Chest to chest. No space between us. God, she felt so good like this, so right. I wrapped my arms around her, breathed her in, and willed my cock not to fuck it up. The asshole didn’t listen. I tried to shift my hips back, but she moved with me.