Apparently, he’d gone out of his mind because, in the next instant, he slid his hand into her hair, ducked down, and kissed her. It was just a brief touching of lips, but it centered him again, smoothed his rough edges. He found himself looking into her eyes, saw that she was confused by this.
So was he.
What the fuck?“Okay, then.”
Yeah, you set her straight, man.
“O-okay.” She was fighting not to smile.
He moved on, leaving her to follow.
The buzz of helicopters began as soon as the sun was up, the birds moving over the forest about twenty klicks south of them. Connor could only hope that he and Shanti had covered enough ground last night to stay ahead of Naing’s men.
If not…
He pushed Shanti as hard as he could, heading down into a forested valley full of golden pagodas and Buddha statues, each statue sitting serenely on a stone plinth surrounded by bamboo and teak trees.
“I wonder who put these here,” Shanti said, breathing hard.
“Maybe they had a sale on Buddhas—buy one, get fifty free.”
He stopped just after noon to eat and rest, giving them both more calories than he usually did, hoping to help Shanti keep her energy up. Starvation diets didn’t mix well with extreme exertion.
Shanti looked up. “The helicopters are getting closer.”
“They’ll be on top of us soon.” Connor had already taken out his rain poncho to use for concealment. “But you’re a pro at this now.”
She shook her head, lines of worry on her face. “Hardly.”
“You’re handling the stress and deprivation better than most people would.”
How could she be sweaty and exhausted and still look beautiful to him?
She wiped mango juice off her fingers with a towelette and changed the subject. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”
“That’s out of the blue.” When people asked questions like that, they usually had a reason. He answered her, addressing both her question and what he assumed was her motivation for asking.“The work I do isn’t compatible with relationships. Most guys in special forces are divorced, some of them more than once.”
“But not you.”
“I lived with a woman once. I thought it was the real thing.My unit had a tough deployment, lost a couple of men. I came home pretty messed up by it. Mandy threw me out three weeks later—and, no, I didn’t hit her or hurt her. I just couldn’t get back into the swing of normal life and drank too much.”
“I’m sorry. It doesn’t sound like she was very sympathetic. You were grieving.”
“Yeah.”
“So, because of her, you avoid women?”
“Unless I’m stuck in the jungle with them.” He couldn’t help but grin at Shanti’s surprised reaction. “I don’t avoid women. I love women. I avoid anything … serious. That way, no one gets hurt.”
“You just keep it casual.” Was that a note of disapproval in her voice?
“That’s right.” He supposed it was a good thing to get out in the open, given that they’d had sex. He didn’t want to hurt her or mislead her. “These guys you date, the ones who don’t make you come—have you ever gotten serious with one of them?”
“No, not really.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I just didn’t feel it.”
“Feel what?”
She looked away as if searching for the right words, then met his gaze. “Fireworks. Passion. Excitement.”