I leaned back in the seat, trying not to drift off as she recounted her time away. She ignored any request I made, but at least she filled the silence so I didn’t have to think about Dom.
Harry
Molly went straight for Mr Snuggles when we entered the house. Naturally. That cat had a chokehold over her, and he resented me for the lack of treats he was so used to.
She was scratching his head when she turned around to me. “I still want to get married,” she said as I wrestled with my jacket.
I was such a mess that I couldn’t even pull my arm out on the first try. My jaw cracked as I yawned, tipping my head back and looking at the ceiling.
“Harry, are you listening to me?”
Mum and Dad would have dragged me out of the room to scold me if they knew I was treating someone like that even at my age. ‘An embarrassment to the family’, one of them would say. If Dad got involved, then there was no hope for me.
“Harry, what’s wrong?” Molly came over to me, helping me take it off like I was a toddler as I looked at her, blinking heavily.
She bit her lip, her tension and worry showing in the stiffness of her shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” I replied, completely numb. “I’m just so tired.” Hadn’t I said that to her too many times already? Why was she still talking to me when I had explained that I needed to sleep?
She watched me with wide eyes. I was going to fall over if I didn’t get to bed.
That was it. I could feel it coming.
The burnout that would hit me once a year when I pushed myself so hard that my mind would go on standby as my body would shut down. I would sleep for a week just to work through all the stress I’d piled on myself.
I normally had more warning. I’d usually be worn down for at least a month before I crashed.
But really, thinking about what had happened, it was amazing it hadn't come sooner.
“Do you want tea?” Molly asked. “Or some food? Do we still have snacks in the cupboard? I could make you a coffee if you want to stay up and chat?”
“No, it’s…” I put out a hand, resting it on her forearm, giving her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, I just need to lie down.”
“Alright. If you're sure.” She furrowed her brow as she watched me back away from her.
I moved towards the bedroom, unbuttoning my shirt as I went. Dropping it to the floor, I removed my belt, slipping my trousers down, doing everything I could not to look at the bed where I had come almost every night for weeks.
I’d been sleeping in the spare room since I found out the truth, but I didn’t want to make Molly suspicious. As if shewould have guessed. No one would have guessed what kind of fucked up thing Dom had done to me.
The vibrator was buried in the closet, the sheets were fresh, and Molly would come to bed later.
I barely had time to push off my socks before my body gave out. I flung back the covers and fell into bed, barely conscious as my head hit the pillow.
Molly stood by the door, the light of the corridor illuminating her, casting her face into shadow. She sighed with concern, but she had seen it before.
I looked up at her as I pulled the duvet over myself, failing to meet her eyes as mine drooped.
“I’m so sorry,” I croaked, just able to force the words out as sleep took me.
Sorry for everything. Because there was no possible way I could have made up for what happened while she was gone. And sorry that I didn’t want to.
Harry
“Speech! Speech! Speech!”
Molly grabbed her pint, climbing onto her rickety chair, looking down at everybody gathered around us victoriously.
We'd come back to Paulie's for the announcement. But it didn't exactly hold good memories for me anymore.