“Stop freaking out, Kiara.” His hands come up to cup my cheeks as a soft smile forms on his lips. “I’m not breaking up with you or anything. But shit happened today, and we need to talk about it like adults. Because we are—adults, I mean.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Do we have to be?”
I can’t help smiling at his scoff, even with how serious this conversation is.
“Yeah, we do.”
“Right. Of course we do.” I take a deep breath as Crew takes my hands in his and gives them a squeeze. “Davis, Alexander, and Mason are your scent matches.”
“They are, and you freaked out about it.”
I don’t bother denying his words. How can I? I literally ran away from him—from them. “I did.”
“Because you think I’m going to leave you for them.” He pauses, waiting until I nod before continuing, “And because you’ve been in love with them since you were a teenager.”
“I wouldn’t say I was in love with them,” I correct. “I was infatuated with them, and yes, I still have a crush. How can I not? They’re hot. But I loveyou.”
He makes a face. “Fine, we’ll go with that. Yes, they’re hot, and I love you, too. But I’m not going to leave you for them—something I’ve already shared with them.
“You’re the woman I’ve been in love with since before I knew what love was. I would’ve been content to live my life with just the two of us forever.” He hesitates. “Except during my heats. We would need help then, but that doesn’t mean we needed to have anyone else in this relationship. But you wanted to be part of a pack, and I know that. I’m more than okay with that.
“I love the idea of a pack that revolves around the two of us, but do you know what I’m not okay with? Living any part of my life without you by my side ever again. I spent four years without you beside me, and it nearly killed me. No pack—scent matches or not—would ever get me to leave you.”
I bite my lip as tears fill my eyes. It’s not the first or even the hundredth time he’s told me this. I want to believe him, but I just don’t see how he could be happy with just me.
I’m just a beta—nothing special.
As if he can read my mind—we’ve known each other long enough that he might be able to—he shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter what your designation is, Kiara. It’s never mattered. When I told you I loved you for the first time, neither of us had designated yet. I don’t care that I’m supposed to want alphas to take care of me. I want to love you and take care of you. The only time Ineedan alpha is during my heats, and we’ve even done those without one before.”
“Yeah, but that was a disaster, and we said never again.”
His first heat had been a disaster. We’d gotten toys, including a strap-on with an inflatable knot and a toy that recreated the locking mechanics of a female alpha. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the stamina of an alpha, and I ended up in the hospital at the end of his heat.
From then on, we used a heat service so we could have a vetted alpha help us—always a male. But we did keep using the locking toy, as he really enjoys it.
“Which is why I said we’d need an alpha during my heats, but what I need you finally to understand is that you are the one person I need, no matter what. We could make a relationship with just the two of us work—if that’s what you wanted. But it’s not, is it?”
I shake my head. “It’s not. I want a pack. I want what my dad found with Evelyn, Adan, and Dylan.”
“And we can have that with Mason, Davis, and Alexander.”
I’m shaking my head before he even finishes speaking. “We can’t.”
“Why not?” Exasperation paints his words, and I hate that I’m causing him to stress out.
“Because they don’t want me.” Even as I say it, I find myself going back to Allison and Ruby telling me the exact opposite earlier.
“And that’s where you’re wrong, my darling.” Crew leans forward and rests his forehead against mine. “The three of them are so in love with you.”
I want to believe him, I really do. “How would you know that?”
“They told me. They didn’t try to hide it at all.”
“Maybe I could see Davis and Alexander being interested. They used to flirt with me a lot. They asked me out a few times too, but I knew they weren’t being serious about it. How could they be when they were in a relationship with my stepbrother?”
Crew shakes his head. “Kiki, I love you very much, but you are the worst person in the world at knowing when someone is interested in you. For someone with so much confidence in who they are, you really don’t have it when it comes to people being attracted to you.”
Once again, I can’t argue with him. I know I’m pretty, and I can be a knockout if I put in the effort, but I’m not on the same level as the three of them. If I hadn’t grown up with Crew, I would’ve thought the same thing about him.