And, like…fair.
“You know I’m not actually going to die, right? I’m just going to get pelted with paint.”
“I know, but you’re willing to give up the win,” I said in disbelief.
“So we don’t get arrested for refusing to exit the park, yes.”
“Still,” I said. “It’s so chivalrous that you’re willing to literally put yourself in front of paint-shooting zombies just so I can beat them.”
“That is me, the most chivalrous man to ever exist,” hesaid with a grin, and if there weren’t zombies searching for us at the moment, I might’ve been tempted to seduce him in the woods.
Even though the mosquito factor had always made that notion less than sexy to me.
It was ridiculous, but I knew in real time that this was literally the most fun I’d ever had. Like, in my entire life. And it felt like I could use the word “literally” without exaggeration. Running around with him in the woods and fighting zombies was a dream date for me.
“So you stay right where we are, and I’m going to walk north in that direction,” he said, pointing. “Then I’ll come back around, turn on my location in the app, and proceed to make a shit ton of noise.”
“Oh my God,” I said with a laugh, because his plan was amazing.
“You need to be patient—don’t rush it. You need to see both of them before you shoot, and they could bring some of the other zombies with them so you might have to take more than two out. Are you ready for the challenge?”
“I’m so ready,” I said excitedly. It felt like this is what my dad had prepared me for all those mornings he took me deer hunting when I didn’t want to deer hunt. He taught me patience and breathwork and being quiet in the woods (even though I never ended up shooting a single animal in my entire life), so I was built for this challenge.
“All right, let’s do this, Distefano,” he said with a grin, climbing to his feet. And just when I felt like he was going to start walking away from me, I lost my mind.
“Wait!” I whisper-yelled, and when he turned back, I couldn’t stop myself.
We were playing a ridiculous game and none of it was real, but the stakes still felt high to my competitive ass, so the fact that he was willing to sacrifice himself so I could get the win was charming as hell. I grabbed the front of his jacket, pulled him closer, and kissed the ever-loving shit out of him.
It was fast and hot, just like it would be in a real apocalyptic situation, and I felt like a heroine in an action film when I pulled back and let go of him.
“What was that for?” he asked, looking confused.
“For giving up your life so I can win,” I said melodramatically, knowing I was wearing the nerdiest smile on my face. The fact that I was able to be my full geeky self with him felt magical.
He raised one eyebrow, like he was literally an action hero, and said, “Don’t let my death be in vain, Distefano. Take those motherfuckers out.”
And he handed me his paintball gun so I could have two.
It was hard not to cackle as I crouched back down in the bushes and he started making his way around toward the clearing. I stayed silent and frozen, with my weapons raised, waiting. I felt the app buzz when he sent the message, and then a couple minutes later, I heard voices and the sound of twigs and leaves crunching as people walked through the woods.
I patiently waited in silence and soon spotted the twins. They quietly approached Connor from behind, and I could tell by their faces that it was exactly as I’d suspected; they were in it to win. It took everything I had in me to not scream out to Connor in warning, and instead I watched as they each lifted theirweapon and got off a shot. My fingers itched to take them out, but I forced myself to wait.
Sure enough, the other three zombies burst out of the woods and into the clearing, looking around, presumably searching for me.
“Now, Duffy!” Connor yelled, and I shot to my feet. I pointed my guns and went off, unloading both weapons on the zombies that surrounded Connor. They turned in shock and started shooting in my direction, but since I knew I’d hit them, I ran deeper into the woods to make sure I didn’t get tagged.
I didn’t want there to be any margin for them to say that I didn’t win.
“Okay, game over!” someone yelled. “It’s time to come out now!”
“Yeah, Duff, come on out,” Connor yelled. “I got a video of the whole moment so everyone will know you won.”
That was all I needed.
I sprinted out of the woods, running straight for him. The band of zombies looked like they hated me, all of them scowling as I approached, but I took an immense amount of pride in the obnoxious neon paint splatters all over their front. I didn’t stop until I got to Connor (who was also covered in neon paint splatters), and when I launched myself at him, he caught me and swung me around.
I didn’t consider myself a romantic person, but this was single-handedly the most romantic thing to ever happen to me.