I hit reply in the app, then typed:THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT US TO THINK. YOU’RE TRYING TO GET US TO COME OUT IN THE OPEN SO YOU CAN TAG US.
She giggled as she nodded for me to hit send, and I was in love with the sound of her laugh.
With this ridiculous moment that I couldn’t imagine sharing with anyone else.
“If we get arrested, promise me you’ll smile in your mug shot,” I said.
Her eyes met mine and she nodded. “Deal.”
A few seconds later the app buzzed again, and it had to have been a teenager in charge of communication because all it said was:NO SERIOUSLY.
Duffy snorted and texted back on my phone:NO SERIOUSLY.
This was becoming the funniest fucking thing I’d ever participated in, her stubborn refusal to give in to something that totally didn’t matter. It might’ve seemed unhinged if she weren’t having so much fucking fun. Those pretty eyes were sparkling and she was basically buzzing, looking like she was going to fall on the ground laughing at any minute.
She sent:YOU NEED TO CROWN US THE WINNERS—THEN WE WILL EMERGE FROM COVER. OVER.
“We aren’t on a walkie-talkie, dumbass,” I teased.
“It feels right, jackass,” she teased back.
The phone buzzed, and the response was simply:NO.
That had her laughing so hard she couldn’t speak, her hand over her mouth as she tried staying quiet.
“I can’t believe those little shits said no,” I laughed. This situation was so bizarre, but I found that I didn’t want to leave this spot where I was sitting behind a bush with Duffy in the woods in the dark, hiding from Peterman’s Pumpkin Patch employees.
“Right?” She leaned closer—so close but not close enough—and said, “I’m a little afraid that we’re going to have to live here now because I just can’t give in to not getting the W.”
My phone buzzed again.
THE PATCH IS CLOSING AND WE NEED TO BRING THE GROUP BACK.
“Okay, suppose we put ourselves in the park’s shoes for a minute, Duff. They can’t just leave two random customers in the forest after they close. I know you don’t want to, but we probably need to go back.”
She bit her bottom lip like this was a major decision to consider. “I know you’re right, and you definitely can’t afford to be in the news because of my nonsense, but I just don’t want them to get the win. Is that so wrong?”
“No,” I said, and then it hit me.
An idea came to me, so damned perfect, and she was going to fucking love it.
“Holy shit, you can still win, Duff.”
Her eyes widened, her smile huge. “How?”
“We’re going to go out in a blaze of glory, honey.”
28
Duffy
I listened to his plan and couldn’t believe what he was suggesting.
“So when I run out into the open and they converge upon me, you go off. Their guns are going to be pointed at me, presumably shooting the shit out of me, and you can just take them out. Unleash on their zombie asses, Duff.”
“I can’t believe this,” I whispered, my eyes roaming all over his face. “You’re willing to sacrifice yourself so I can claim victory?”
He made a face like I was a lunatic.