Ruger and I pulled into the parking lot of the clubhouse and pulled into our designated parking spaces. This would be my first official day of seeing the crew since I’d been back.
A week after all the bullshit died down, I put the house in Collierville on the market, shut down the bookstore, but kept the shelter up and running because I couldn’t leave the people hanging. Ms. Gina, the administrator, and her son, Matthew, were now the owners of the shelter. I signed over all the paperwork and left them to it. Ms. Gina was happy as hell and thanked me a thousand times before I had to rush her off the phone.
It was fucked up that I had to do the shit, but Kenzi was right. If I stayed in Memphis, I would have set that whole city on fire.
I didn’t want to pop out so quickly, because I still had to wrap my head around all the shit that happened and didn’t feel like being welcomed home just yet.
Since I had time to think, I was now ready to see my club family. These men had become my brothers and mentors when I felt I had no one to lean on. They kept me level-headed, most of the time, but always showed me love and had my back through anything. I truly did miss them.
Ruger and I walked inside the building.
“Ayo! Look who’s back!” Ruger yelled out. Every head turned, then a bunch of roars resounded around the room. A grin that wasn’t forced hit my face and made my chest feel light as my brothers gathered around me.
Kylo, one of the enforcers, picked me up, and that encouraged the rest of them to join in, bouncing me in the air like I was crowd surfing and shit.
“Come on, bruh! Put me the fuck down!” I yelled with a bit of humor in my tone. They put me down and hugged me one by one.
“We missed you, G. Shit ain’t been the same since you’ve been gone. Glad to see you, my baby,” Jax said, stepping through the crowd and hugging me. He held on to me a little longer than expected, and I knew why. Besides Ruger, Jax was the only other person who knew how deep my condition went. Of course, with him being Ruger’s brother, he was bound to know anyway. But he never treated me differently and showed me great respect.
“It’s good to be back, man. I miss y’all niggas too.”
“We ridin’ out tonight. Hellraizers block party. Even got Christian Miller, K Millz and Knowledge to perform. It’s gon’ be lit as fuck!” Slick said, patting my shoulder, geeked as hell.
I nodded. “That’s what’s up.”
“A’ight, let’s get some drinks going, and bring Grue up on the latest news. We gon’ turn up like old times,” Jax said.
I smiled. “’Preciate you. I can’t stay long, got an appointment in an hour, but I’ll be at the block party for sure.”
“That’s cool. We’ll be brief. What you drinking?”
“Give me a shot of 1942.”
“You got it.” We walked over to an empty table and took a seat. Mina, the bartender, walked over to us with a smile and a tray full of shots.
“Gruesome! It’s so good to see you, baby.” She leaned down and kissed my cheek.
“What’s up, Mina? It’s good to see you too.”
“I hope you’re back for good.”
“Yeah, I’m here. It feels good to be back home around my people. Feel like I did a bid.” I chuckled lightly.
“Shit, it seemed like it,” Devour said as we all laughed. Looking around at the Motor City Rebels, I didn’t realize that I was still homesick, even after convincing myself that I was settled in Memphis. It took Nichelle betraying me to see how much I should have made her ass stay here instead of following her ass.
If it weren’t for us having to lay low after killing the Blaze Burners, I probably wouldn’t have let her convince me to stay when my heart wasn’t settled there. Then that bitch went and played in my face. I did feel bad about what I did to the baby. I would never hurt a kid, but being off my meds had me in a fit of rage.
I’d been putting off seeing the therapist Kenzi referred me to since I’d been home. I didn’t feel like talking to anybody. I needed to get my head together before I finally agreed to take the appointment. I doubted if the shit worked, but I would try for Kenzi.
Ruger grabbed a shot from the tray. “A’ight, let’s toast to our brother being back home and to new beginnings.”
“New beginnings,” we all said in unison, tossed the shots back, then got down to business.
Yeah, home was where I needed to be.
Pulling into the parking lot of the therapist's office, I turned off the engine and just sat there for a minute. My first thought was to leave. I didn’t want to be here or talk to this chick. Being here took me back to Doctor Ventura and how he always wanted me to talk when I didn’t have the energy to do shit.
His prying oftentimes made me want to punch his ass in the mouth for, in so many words, calling me crazy. Saying shit like ‘You need medication to keep calm’ and ‘You know you’re scaring your family, right?’. That shit wasn’t normal for atherapistto say or ask me.