“Hey! What the—You all are going to have to leave!” the nurse said, running into the room. “There are babies and resting mothers on this floor. You all have to go. The baby can’t handle all this stress! She’s only hours old!”
“Fuck you! And fuck”—I raised my foot and kicked the bassinet—“That bitch-ass baby!”
“Oh my God! Ghana, stop! Please!” Kenzi yelled, trying to help Ruger push me out.
“Move back, Kenzi!” Ruger yelled. She stepped out of the way just as security rushed into the room. “Back the fuck up. I got him!” Ruger told them. I looked back at Nichelle as the nurse helped her off the floor. The baby’s cries filled the room, and I could see blood on Nichelle’s gown as she limped toward the baby. Tears streamed down her face as she looked at me, defeated.
Fuck her bitch-ass tears.
I would never trust another woman again.
It took almost an hour to calm me down after leaving the hospital. I completely lost it when I tried to jump out of the truck on the freeway. Ruger had to keep me in a stronghold all the way to the house.
When I was on my meds, I felt cool, regular, . . . normal. But off them, I was a completely different demon, one that scared me, one I never wanted to unleash. This type of betrayal was too much for me. I was humiliated and tricked into believing I was a father, and the whole time, that broad knew she was carrying another nigga’s seed.
Ruger and I were currently in his basement, while Kenzi was upstairs, packing their shit. We didn’t talk, only let the jazz record play while sipping a drink and smoking a joint as mythoughts ran wild. Footsteps coming down the stairs alerted us that Kenzi had entered the space. She walked over to where we sat at the bar and poured herself a drink.
When she turned, I looked at her with guilt in my eyes. I hated disappointing her.
“Sis—”
“We’re leaving tonight,” she said, cutting me off. “It’s not safe for you to be here, Ghana. I know when you’re off your medication, and although what happened last time with me getting taken was my fault?—”
It was my turn to cut her off. “That wasn’t your fault. I’m your big brother. It was my job to protect you.”
She held her hand up. “Be that as it may, I’m not letting you risk yourself again. Do you realize you could have gone to jail tonight for what you did? You said you would hang back, but you didn’t.”
“I needed to know.”
“That’s why you sent me! I was your eyes. I was going to report back to you. You kicked the damn bassinet with the baby in it, Ghana Ermias! I understand your anger for Nichelle because fuck that bitch, but the baby? That was way too far. She could have fallen on the floor and suffered injuries, and ya ass would have been in jail!”
“I know!” I yelled, then took a deep breath and let it out. “I know. I hadn’t taken my meds in a month, Kenz. Ever since her ass betrayed me. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to. The shit just makes me feel low. I hate the shit, but I kept taking them because I wanted to be right for my . . . for who I thought was my daughter.”
Kenzi walked around the bar and took hold of my hand. “I know it hurts, Brother, and I’m here for you, always. I need you to want to be your best because I believe in you. I need you tobelieve in yourself and believe that you can live a normal life. Hell, you’ve been doing it since you’ve been here.”
“I’m not fulfilled, Kenz,” I admitted. “I feel like I’m drowning all the time, but I keep up a front for you and everybody around me. This shit feels worse than getting shot, and I really don’t think nobody can save me.”
“It’s going to get better, Ghana. I promise. Once you’re back home, I want you to see my friend. She’s good, and I’m sure she can get you on some medicine that the side effects won’t be as severe.”
“You keep trying to make me see a damn shrink.”
“Listen to your sister, G. We want you better, man. For yourself and for your sister and nieces and nephews.”
I chuckled. “What kids y’all got, fam?”
“These kids I’m putting in her womb as soon as we say I do.” I watched Kenzi’s ass blush, and I knew it was my cue to leave.
“I just need to sleep, man. All this shit is just too much.”
“You can sleep in the truck. It’s a long drive, so get comfy. We’ll figure out your businesses and everything later, but right now, we need to get on the road. They probably called the damn police by now, and I’m too pretty to go to jail.”
Ruger smiled at her. “That, you are, my love.”
“Simp ass,” I said, walking away and heading up the stairs. The insatiable taste to go back to that hospital and finish Nichelle off lingered in the back of my mind. But I knew if I did, Kenz would probably disown my ass, and I’d be put under the fucking jail.
Big Homie, please give a nigga a break.
Two Weeks After the Mayhem . . .