Magic was a gift.
When he drew in a deep breath, his chest no longer rattled, and my hope grew along with my smile.
“Do you care to tell me why you’re sitting in here with an old man instead of with your new wife?”
My smile faltered. The last thing I wanted was to disappoint him and set him back in his healing. “It’s complicated.” That sounded good enough, right? It was certainly the truth. And I couldn’t explain how complicated it was without upsetting him. He’d already lost too much.
His blue eyes lifted heavenward. “Two people from different backgrounds trying to make a life together is complicated? You don’t say.”
“Your sarcasm is not appreciated.”
He gave my hand another squeeze. His grip felt even stronger. “Son, I’ve been married four times to four different women. It’s always complicated.”
But it was more than that. The other women my father had married must’ve held him in some regard at the very least. And I knew for a fact that my mother had loved the man. The same could not be said for my wife. I’d been cast as the villain in her story since I was fifteen. It would take a great deal of time and effort to change her opinion of me—if it was even possible. “Roisin does not care for me.” What I’d felt today in the library must’ve been a fluke, my own latent desire playing tricks.
“That is because she does not know you.” The mattress shifted as he eased forward to lay a steady hand on my shoulder. “And she will not learn to know you if you insist on hiding in my chambers.”
Hiding away was far easier than facing what awaited me in my own room. A man could only take so much rejection.
The new silver scar on my hand felt smooth beneath my fingertip. “And if she doesn’t care for what she learns?” If she found out that I was responsible for Alrec’s death? What then? She would never forgive me for taking away the man she loved.
My father patted my cheek with a dry hand the way he used to when I was a boy. “Marriage is like connecting two islands in the vast sea. As long as you’re both building a bridge in the right direction, you will find each other eventually.”
Today was our first step in the right direction. I’d shown her one of my most guarded secrets—my hands. She hadn’t laughed or made fun of the way my twisted, mangled scars made it look as if I wore my veins outside my skin.
My brother and I had both had far too much to drink that night two years ago. He’d been taunting me over winning Roisin’s affections, had shown me one of the letters she’d written him. In front of a crowd of people, he told me that if I could beat him in a race, I could have her. Simple as that.
He had cared so little that he’d bet his betrothal on a bloomin’ footrace.
My hatred for him had been enough to fuel me. And my love for her had given me the advantage.
And I would’ve won if he hadn’t shoved me into a bloody bonfire.
My father chuckled. “Go to her. And have faith in yourself. I certainly do.”
I wanted to, but how could I leave him? I’d have a lifetime with Roisin. There was no telling how much longer my father would be with me. And after what had happened with Mother . . . “Morning is soon enough.”
Rolling his eyes, he gave my shoulder a shove. “If you’re staying for me, don’t. I won’t get a moment of rest knowing my son is in here staring at me, listening to me snore.”
I tried to read his eyes, no longer jaundiced but clear. “Are you certain you’re feeling all right?”
“Son, I’ve never felt better.”
I gave him a fierce hug before racing toward the privy chamber, where Broderick stood next to the window. Hadn’t I told him to make himself comfortable? Did the man ever sit down?
When he saw me, he turned fully and offered a bow. “How is the king?”
“Much better thanks to Lady Seren.” I continued past him, toward the outer door. “Come. I need your help.” It was time to get to know my wife.
* * *
Although I hadn’t been in the castle’s kitchens in years, I found my way without issue. Once I reached the basement rooms, my bravado waned. Where the hell did they keep all the food? There were copper pots aplenty, dangling from hooks on the stone walls. Fireplaces and stoves, tables and chairs, and enough wooden spoons to supply an entire army, but unless I wanted to feed my bride raw onions and potatoes, the trip had been pointless.
Broderick proved almost as useless when it came to scavenging for sustenance. We managed to find some scones wrapped in a tea towel along with a few sticks of dried beef, two apples more bruised than not, and a bottle of faerie wine to pack into an oversized basket Broderick insisted on carrying. By the time we reached my bedchamber, I was so full of nerves and excitement, I didn’t think I’d sleep for a week.
It felt strange knocking on my own door, but barging in would set the wrong tone. A moment later, Roisin answered, her glorious hair tumbling loose about her silk-clad shoulders. When she saw me, she squinted as if she wasn’t sure I was really there. “Have you lost your mind, Caiman? It’s the middle of the night.”
I loved the way she said my name.There. I admitted it. She could be shouting at me or giving out, and I’d take it all as long as she was saying my name instead of calling me one of the terrible nicknames she and her friends had given me over the years.